LOS ANGELES - Hugh Hefner was dumped by his fiancee four days before their scheduled Hollywood wedding. Newt Gingrich was dumped by his campaign workers and John Edwards was dumped by his 'baby mama.'
All three men have been called collectively "The Three Billy Goats Gruff" by Summersetter Faxx of Bedroom Pillow Talk.
Faxx stated that all three men made their own beds, pun intended, and they ended up lying in them until they were told to leave.
Gingrich of course, witnessed a mass exodus of his campaign workers the likes of which had not been seen since the days of the Bible when Medusalina left her husband Afrodenzel when she found out that he had been diddly dallying with the exotic kitchen servant Organzella.
Edwards was left high and dry by the mother of his love child Rielle Hunter who told reporters that she just got fed up with John going out and spending $200 on his haircuts.
Hefner meanwhile was trying to remember exactly why it was that his fiancee Crystal Harris had left him just four days before "Rice Tossing Day."
Finally an aide mentioned to him that the reason was all mathematical. Hef asked for a further explanation and was told that in other more easier to understand terms Crystal was 25-years-old and he was 85-friggin-years-old.
The Hefster nodded that he understood and wondered why whenever the two got into bed to vavavoom that she would always say things like she had a headache, or her back hurt, or her hair was wet, or that her crotch region was not in the mood.
All three individuals who fall in the category of being old geezers fully understand that even though each one may think that he is the greatest lover since Rudolph Valentino in actuality they are all really more like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
July 27 is National Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day except in Arizona where walking a Saguaro Cactus is really not any fun at all.