Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 28 June 2011

image for The Los Angeles Dodgers File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - They May End Up Moving South of The Border To Mexico
The Louisville Slugger Bat Company has asked the Dodgers to return all of their bats by July 1.

LOS ANGELES - The popular refrain of "Play ball!" may no longer be heard around DodgerLand.

Team owner Frank "Excedrin Headache" McCourt has had to file Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and has stated that he will not be able to pay the players come pay day which is in a few days.

The issue is even complicated more by the fact that Frank McCourt and his wife Jamie, who are listed as co-owners of the Dodgers, are in the middle of ironing out the details of their divorce settlement.

According to www.divorceinfo.sux Mrs. McCourt is entitled to half of all holdings, including the Dodgers team, under California's community property law or as it is legally known Properitus Non Grata Post Menage-A-Tempus Fugit Allemande Left.

One player, identified as Rafael Furcal (#15), who plays shortstop and makes $13 million a year, said that he was asked by Mr. McCourt if he would agree to take part of his pay in Dodger pennants, bobblehead dolls, and hot dogs.

Another player pitcher Hiroki Kuroda (#18) who earns $11.7 million per year was told by McCourt that he would be given 70 free baseball game tickets in lieu of his weekly salary plus he would also receive $2,000 in half-off food certificates to The Fiery Tongue of The Dragon Restaurant in Marina Del Rey.

And outfielder Andre Ethier (#16) who has an annual salary of $9.5 million was told by Jamie McCourt that he could take the next two games off as long as he agreed to forfeit his pro-rated salary for those two games.

As of right now The McCourts are in an extremely desperate situation. So much so that their attorney Stravinski Sigginstaufer of Currywurst, Wingmeister, Chavez, & Sigginstaufer has been contacted by two of Mexico's top drug cartels who have expressed an interest in purchasing the Dodgers and moving them down to Mexico.

Sigginstaufer was asked by USA DAYBREAK to name the two drug cartels but he replied that he was not at liberty to release any information, details, or particulars.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up my good old retired buddy Larry King and asked if he knew anything about the drug cartels offering to purchase the Dodgers. He laughed and asked, "Are the Kardashian sisters noted for having big asses?" King revealed that there are actually three drug cartels that want to buy the team; The Green Guacamole Drug Cartel of Yucatan, The Piñata de Queso Drug Cartel of Tijuana, and The Baja California Pharmaceutical Drug Cartel of Ensenada.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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