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Monday, 27 June 2011

image for Andy Murray Blows Gasquet at Wimbledon Today
Hawkeye: are its days numbered?

Not since the days when John McEnroe roamed the turf at Wimbledon has so much controversy been heard of. When he complained that "the ball was definitely in!" There was room for human error. However, within a decade all that changed and the decisions were made electronically.

A series of lasers constantly monitored the lines in the court and could judge whether a ball was in out within five seconds, and relay the decision to the player. 'Hawkeye' as he is called, is allowed to pass judgement on a total of three challenges per set. The contraption has managed to keep the peace for a long time now… That is, until today.

It has emerged that a 19-year-old Frenchman known as Pierre de Rothschild, from the Rhône Valley has managed to hack into the computer that controls 'Hawkeye'. He has managed to reconfigure the readouts so that whenever the ball is in the court, it shows that it is out and vice versa. It has certainly made the game more interesting.

Andy Murray, who was playing Frenchman Richard Gasquet first noticed the anomaly and began to argue with the umpire. He told In Seine News immediately after the match: "I noticed that when ever I made a challenge with 'Hawkeye', he always gave me the opposite decision. I know that there is nothing wrong with my eyesight because I had it checked last week and my eyes have 20/20 vision. Although I was winning by 2 sets, I've found it very hard to believe that the computer could rule against me every single time? So the only recourse I had to argue with the umpire. He was on the verge of banning me because he had already given me two yellow cards which meant that I could get sent off at any time. It simply wasn't worth it and certainly not something one would do in front of the future King and Queen!"

de Rothschild, who suffers from Asbergers Syndrome, is said to sit in his bedroom for days at a time according to his mother. "He is a lovely boy who prefers his own company (although he is unemployed) and is very, very patriotic - I hear him play the French national anthem on his computer every day. It was only at lunchtime when there came a knock on the door and the gendarmerie rushed upstairs and arrested him. My poor boy was crying.'Vive la France!!' as he was escorted to a waiting police van. I fear that he could face the guillotine which is still in force in this country!" she said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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