Funny story: Susan Boyle Tames The Wild Horses

Susan Boyle Tames The Wild Horses

LONDON - The Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle has just released her first single and it has gone right through the ranch house roof. The 48-year-old amazing lass recorded the Rolling Stones ballad "Wild Horses." And SuBo's version literally...

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Funny story: SuBo Fanatics To Hold Wild Haggis Hunt

SuBo Fanatics To Hold Wild Haggis Hunt

Contrary to popular belief, the Wild Haggis (Haggis scoticus) is neither a mythical creature nor extinct. Although nearly hunted to the verge of extinction, a colony of this shy and reclusive creature has retreated to the banks of the River Almond a...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle votes Labour, but don't tell the fanatics

Susan Boyle votes Labour, but don't tell the fanatics

Susan Boyle cast her vote in the UK General Election today for the Labour Party. It is not a surprise as she lives in an area of Scotland steeped in the socialist workers struggle against the bosses. She proudly wore a red scarf to show her alleg...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle has offered Queen Elizabeth a special gown for the wedding

Susan Boyle has offered Queen Elizabeth a special gown for the wedding

Susan Boyle has offered Queen Elizabeth a special gown to wear at Wills's and Kate's April wedding. Susan has kindly offered the Queen the gold dress SHE wore at her April '09 BGT audition. She said that it brought her luck and thinks it would be ideal for Queen Elizabeth and, more importantly, it will save the country a few quid. Naturally the famous dress has been dry-cleaned and is hangi...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle is still a virgin

Susan Boyle is still a virgin

Susan Boyle has never been able to copulate with a man and after visiting the doctor she was told why. She was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome which prevents her from becoming sexually aggressive with men. The diseases is a mild form of autism...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle: A slumdog from Britain

Susan Boyle: A slumdog from Britain

Remember Danny Boyle, the director of Slumdog Millionaire who made the movie for Oscar and won 8 award. There is another Boyle in making. In the show "Britain Got Talent", Susan trumped everyone to win the hearts and soul of every audience present th...

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Funny story: 'Shaddap You Face' chosen as official Olympic Anthem!

'Shaddap You Face' chosen as official Olympic Anthem!

Sources have revealed that Blur have chosen to revamp the 1981 comedy hit 'Shaddap You Face' by Joe Dolce for the official theme of the London 2012 Olympics. Damon Allbran, a long time devotee of Dolce, is known to have wanted to cover the sidespl...

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Funny story: SuBo in Mars concert tour!

SuBo in Mars concert tour!

Susan Boyle is to perform a series of concerts on Mars later this year, according to reports in the popular press. However, it was later revealed that this is, in fact, a hoax. "We had this email from some geezer called Mr. B.S. Artist," said Mr.

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Funny story: PM Blames Susan Boyle for Euro election defeat

PM Blames Susan Boyle for Euro election defeat

As the main political parties digest the results of the European Elections, beleaguered Prime Minister Gordon Brown blames Susan Boyle for the poor election results. Showing a poor understanding of the electoral systems he said in a press confer...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle asks where's my damn shopping M&S

Susan Boyle asks where's my damn shopping M&S

Susan Boyle is not a happy woman. She has been waiting for her M&S home delivery all morning. She has passed the time, squirming at her youtube audition video on her new iPad for hours on end. Someone should tell her there are loads more videos.

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Funny story: Etiquette to be observed when meeting Susan Boyle or indeed, visiting her homeland.

Etiquette to be observed when meeting Susan Boyle or indeed, visiting her homeland.

If you are NOT living in Scotland then there are certain rules of etiquette to be observed when meeting Susan if you wish to be accepted and return to YOUR homeland intact. 1. Do NOT rush at Susan and hug her. (This could result in you receiving a Blackurn Kiss from Subo. This is the same as a 'Liverpool Kiss' and indeed, a 'Glasgow Kiss', all of which entail the bridge of your...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle's Boyfriend Hurries To Her Side

Susan Boyle's Boyfriend Hurries To Her Side

Susan Boyle, who suffered a nervous breakdown after finishing second at the "Britain's Got Talent" contest, has had her old boyfriend rush to her side in London. Susan, whose location is being hidden at the moment, welcomed her best guy from home...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle marries Prince Charles

Susan Boyle marries Prince Charles

Susan Boyle is relocating to Clarence House and Camilla Bowles is sent packing. In a bizarre escalation of events "Britain's Got Bullocks" star Susan Boyle has become the press darling, and in a tribute to the common folk, Buckingham Palace had invit...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle has dinner with PM Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequer 2

Susan Boyle has dinner with PM Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequer 2

It appears that Westminster is still taken aback by the news of tonight's dinner. Tory Central Office has complained that Labour is using dirty tricks and is not playing fair. A Government spokesman when asked stuck his fingers in his ears and sang l...

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Funny story: Hollie Steel Disqualified From Britain's Got Talent

Hollie Steel Disqualified From Britain's Got Talent

Hollie Steel, the 10-year-old crybaby, who bawled her way into the nation's hearts with her stunning performance on Britain's Got Talent last night, has been disqualified from the competition, after she tested positive for several banned substances.

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Funny story: The Pope should "take the shame"

The Pope should "take the shame"

Young people in the UK have many disarming phrases meant as put downs and to which there is no answer. One favourite is "take the shame!" You acted like a numpty, a div, a tool are some of the kindest definitions of this phrase. Perhaps "what a tr...

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Funny story: 'Europe's most perverted dominatrix': is it Susan Boyle?

'Europe's most perverted dominatrix': is it Susan Boyle?

London - (Ass Mess): Her identity is a closely guarded secret. But last week's collapse of a 58 year-old client in the shower cubicle of Mistress Lucrezia's bordello begs the question: is it SuBo behind the rhinestone-studded leather mask? Tuck...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle throws a cat in a bin

Susan Boyle throws a cat in a bin

Crazy Celtic crooner Susan Boyle found herself in hot water today after she was caught on CCTV throwing a cat into a wheelie bin. SuBo was filmed walking past a house in Coventry when she stopped to stroke a tabby cat. Then after checking if anyon...

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Funny story: SuBo contemplates body transplant

SuBo contemplates body transplant

On advice from Simon Cowell, Susan Boyle is contemplating a full body transplant in what would be a ground breaking surgical procedure. "There is only so much traditional plastic surgery can achieve" stated Cowell. "We've given it teeth and new sk...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle Threatened With Eviction For Being A Noisy Neighbour

Susan Boyle Threatened With Eviction For Being A Noisy Neighbour

Susan Boyle, the oldest-looking 47-year-old woman in the world, has incurred the wrath of the local council this week for persistent noise pollution, and has been told that, unless she curbs her enthusiasm for singing, she faces eviction from the cou...

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