Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 25 April 2009

image for Toy Company Puts Out The Susan Boyle Action Figure Doll
Chinese shoppers in Pinghu on their way to Wal-Mart to buy The Susan Boyle Action Figure Doll.

LIVERPOOL, England - The Cinderella Toy Company of Great Britain has just come out with The Susan Boyle Action Figure Doll.

The doll which retails for 35 pounds ($51.46, U.S.) is amazingly realistic in detail. The doll stands 10 inches tall and has short fluffy gray hair and eyebrows that are about three times the size of a normal woman's eyebrows.

The doll called 'Singing Susan' has a string that sticks out of her backside that when pulled says 47 different phrases such as, "Hi I'm Susan and I am one blimey heck of a singin' old gal," "Greetings, sit down and listen to me sing 'I'm A Material Girl,'" and "That Madonna flake only thinks she's a singer."

Wal-Mart has already ordered 3 million of the dolls, Toy 'R' Us has ordered 12,000, and Brad Pitt has ordered 700.

Simon Cowell, Boyle's manager says that within the month you will also be able to buy Susan Boyle X-Rated Playing Cards, Susan Boyle Eyebrow Pencils, Boyle's Biscuit Baskets, and Susan Boyle Inflatable Dolls.

Cowell was asked if he had kissed Miss Boyle and he grinned and replied that he had, but he added that he was not the first.

He disclosed that he was the fourth one to kiss Susan behind Brad Pitt, Shaheen Jafargholi, and Rush Limbaugh.

In a related story. A banana farmer in Costa Rica reported that he came across a tortoise that someone had spray painted on its shell the words, I kissed Susan Boyle.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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