Friday, 24 April 2009

image for Susan Boyle to Auction Off Locks of Armpit Hair, Dress for Jade Goody Fund
"We consider it a privilege to assist Ms. Boyle in finding a buyer for her articles."

LONDON, U.K. - Susan Boyle today pledged to place two locks of her armpit hair up for auction to benefit the recently founded Jade Goody Reality Star Fund. Ms. Boyle made the announcement while attending the surprisingly successful Bullocks of Slopshire auction of Hitler's artwork.

Boyle says the locks will be freshly shampooed and, as always, braided. Removal of the locks is part of an ongoing attempt to make over the newly discovered starlet who many have described as "frumpy," with a "cowboy-like gait."

Also up for grabs will be the gigantic beige doily and white heels Ms. Boyle wore for her now world-famous night on "Britain's Got Talent."

"We consider it a privilege to assist Ms. Boyle in finding a buyer for her articles," said Phillip Duke Edinburgh, a textile and clothing expert for Bullocks.

Experts predict sale of the items will fetch $40-75,000.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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