Anger Managment Counsellor Ordered to Enroll in Anger Management Courses
Anger management counsellor ordered to enroll in anger management courses after losing his temper with enraged patient.
More Societal Rejects Pledge the Use of Deadly Force
States with 'Right to use deadly force' laws, seeing an uptick in social rejects "Pledging to feel threatened, and randomly shoot people."
Donald Trump to Replace the Lincoln Monument with the Trump Monument
President Trump to replace the Lincoln Monument with the Trump Monument to commemorate his role in the destruction of the American Republic.
Scouts to Add Machine Gun Nest Merit Badge
Scouts to add 'Machine Gun Nest Merit Badge', in an effort to keep pace with rising nationalist trends.
It's National Vandalism Month
The National Vandalism Foundation is raising money for vandals by encouraging people to take the 'Mail Box Baseball Challenge.'
Putin Insiders Describe the Dictators Maniacal Hissing Noise
Henchmen close to Vladimir Putin describe how the Russian dictator hisses like a maniacal vampire, complete with fangs and snake eyes, when the subject of sanctions comes up.
Mitt Romney Admits to Being 1950s Ad Dad
Mitt Romney admits that he is the stereotypical 1950s ad-dad minus the tobacco pipe. "I just want to bring all of that gee-golly-neat-mister spirit back to America."
Yellow Vest Protesters Turn Violent Over French Elites Before Taking a Break in Five Star Gourmet Bistro
Furious Yellow Vest protestors become violent in Paris, yelling and throwing stones over the issues surrounding French elites. They were later found dining in a five-star gourmet bistro.
Bill Signing Tutor Gives Up on President Trump
Special Bill Signing Tutor resigns after spending two years, unsuccessfully, trying to break the President's habit of signing his name in giant-scrawl and childishly showing it to everyone.
Mueller Report Transcribed Into Four-Hundred Page Coloring Book
In an effort to allow President Trump to better understand the Mueller report, White House staffers have transcribed it into a four-hundred page coloring book, complete with Presidential crayon set.
Rudolph Giuliani is Real Life T.V. Show Campy Vampire Grandpa
Rudolph Giuliani is an actual real-life campy-vampire, who has found his rightful place as Lord of Dumbness, and lies within the ghoulish Trump family.
Psychiatric Researcher Reports on Trump Rally Hallucinations
A psychiatric researcher utilizing LSD during a Trump rally, reports on strange hallucinatory visions of a "kind and caring leader in front of a normal, well-adjusted crowd."
White House Spokeswoman Confirms That Reporters are Talking to Trump's Actual Head
White House spokeswoman Sarah Sanders confirms: "Reporters are actually talking to Trump's head, and not a bare ass, flatulent man doing a hand stand."
President Trump Nominates Ivanka to Head World Wank Bank
"She'll be excellent in this role! After all, she's been number one in my personal wank bank since she was twelve years old!"
written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 20 April 2019
CERN Scientists Try to Open Up Wormhole With Anal Speculum
Overworked scientists at CERN Particle accelerator laboratory, resort to installing an anal speculum in particle collider in an effort to open up a wormhole in space/time.
Pete Buttigieg Gains Approval Bump Among French Voters
Peter Buttigieg gains approval among French voters after relaying his condolences over the Notre Dame fire in French. Great sentiment, wrong voters.
Medical Researchers Have Concluded That Constant Exposure to Donald Trump's Lying is Dangerous
Medical experts have discovered that people who are constantly exposed to Donald Trump's lying, can develop extreme I.Q. deficiencies, along with uncontrollable fist-pumping and hooting.
Trump Gives Real Reason Why He Can't Release His Taxes
In a statement earlier today, Trump said that he cannot release his taxes because they are printed in Russian.
Trump Attacks Bullsh*t Mueller Report While the Rest of the World Attacks His Bullsh*t Presidency
In a not so stunning move, Donald Trump continues to attack the Mueller report, while the rest of the non-white trash world, continues to attack his bullsh*t presidency.
A Recent Study has Concluded that Worldwide Nationalism Will Lead to Headbutting
A recent study has concluded that Nationalism will lead to headbutting as a form of personal greetings, by the year 2021.