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Anger Managment Counsellor Ordered to Enroll in Anger Management Courses

Anger management counsellor ordered to enroll in anger management courses after losing his temper with enraged patient.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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More Societal Rejects Pledge the Use of Deadly Force

States with 'Right to use deadly force' laws, seeing an uptick in social rejects "Pledging to feel threatened, and randomly shoot people."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Donald Trump to Replace the Lincoln Monument with the Trump Monument

President Trump to replace the Lincoln Monument with the Trump Monument to commemorate his role in the destruction of the American Republic.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Scouts to Add Machine Gun Nest Merit Badge

Scouts to add 'Machine Gun Nest Merit Badge', in an effort to keep pace with rising nationalist trends.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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It's National Vandalism Month

The National Vandalism Foundation is raising money for vandals by encouraging people to take the 'Mail Box Baseball Challenge.'

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Putin Insiders Describe the Dictators Maniacal Hissing Noise

Henchmen close to Vladimir Putin describe how the Russian dictator hisses like a maniacal vampire, complete with fangs and snake eyes, when the subject of sanctions comes up.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Mitt Romney Admits to Being 1950s Ad Dad

Mitt Romney admits that he is the stereotypical 1950s ad-dad minus the tobacco pipe. "I just want to bring all of that gee-golly-neat-mister spirit back to America."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Yellow Vest Protesters Turn Violent Over French Elites Before Taking a Break in Five Star Gourmet Bistro

Furious Yellow Vest protestors become violent in Paris, yelling and throwing stones over the issues surrounding French elites. They were later found dining in a five-star gourmet bistro.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Bill Signing Tutor Gives Up on President Trump

Special Bill Signing Tutor resigns after spending two years, unsuccessfully, trying to break the President's habit of signing his name in giant-scrawl and childishly showing it to everyone.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Mueller Report Transcribed Into Four-Hundred Page Coloring Book

In an effort to allow President Trump to better understand the Mueller report, White House staffers have transcribed it into a four-hundred page coloring book, complete with Presidential crayon set.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Rudolph Giuliani is Real Life T.V. Show Campy Vampire Grandpa

Rudolph Giuliani is an actual real-life campy-vampire, who has found his rightful place as Lord of Dumbness, and lies within the ghoulish Trump family.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Psychiatric Researcher Reports on Trump Rally Hallucinations

A psychiatric researcher utilizing LSD during a Trump rally, reports on strange hallucinatory visions of a "kind and caring leader in front of a normal, well-adjusted crowd."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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White House Spokeswoman Confirms That Reporters are Talking to Trump's Actual Head

White House spokeswoman Sarah Sanders confirms: "Reporters are actually talking to Trump's head, and not a bare ass, flatulent man doing a hand stand."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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President Trump Nominates Ivanka to Head World Wank Bank

"She'll be excellent in this role! After all, she's been number one in my personal wank bank since she was twelve years old!"

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 20 April 2019
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CERN Scientists Try to Open Up Wormhole With Anal Speculum

Overworked scientists at CERN Particle accelerator laboratory, resort to installing an anal speculum in particle collider in an effort to open up a wormhole in space/time.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Pete Buttigieg Gains Approval Bump Among French Voters

Peter Buttigieg gains approval among French voters after relaying his condolences over the Notre Dame fire in French. Great sentiment, wrong voters.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Medical Researchers Have Concluded That Constant Exposure to Donald Trump's Lying is Dangerous

Medical experts have discovered that people who are constantly exposed to Donald Trump's lying, can develop extreme I.Q. deficiencies, along with uncontrollable fist-pumping and hooting.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Trump Gives Real Reason Why He Can't Release His Taxes

In a statement earlier today, Trump said that he cannot release his taxes because they are printed in Russian.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Trump Attacks Bullsh*t Mueller Report While the Rest of the World Attacks His Bullsh*t Presidency

In a not so stunning move, Donald Trump continues to attack the Mueller report, while the rest of the non-white trash world, continues to attack his bullsh*t presidency.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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A Recent Study has Concluded that Worldwide Nationalism Will Lead to Headbutting

A recent study has concluded that Nationalism will lead to headbutting as a form of personal greetings, by the year 2021.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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