There were 320 spoof news snippets published in 2019. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Coalition of Red States and the NRA to Give Personhood to all Fireams

A number of conservative lawmakers in conjunction with the NRA, have drafted legislation to give individual protections to firearms. An NRA spokesperson said that, "Guns need protections as citizens!"

written by C/L, 19 April 2019
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Policewoman Placed on Administrative Leave for Fight-Club Style Beating

Policewoman placed on administrative leave after officials review body-cam footage of her beating the sh*t out of herself. Prosecutors still contemplating pressing charges.

written by C/L, 19 April 2019
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A Recent Study has Concluded that Worldwide Nationalism Will Lead to Headbutting

A recent study has concluded that Nationalism will lead to headbutting as a form of personal greetings, by the year 2021.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Trump Attacks Bullsh*t Mueller Report While the Rest of the World Attacks His Bullsh*t Presidency

In a not so stunning move, Donald Trump continues to attack the Mueller report, while the rest of the non-white trash world, continues to attack his bullsh*t presidency.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Trump Gives Real Reason Why He Can't Release His Taxes

In a statement earlier today, Trump said that he cannot release his taxes because they are printed in Russian.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Medical Researchers Have Concluded That Constant Exposure to Donald Trump's Lying is Dangerous

Medical experts have discovered that people who are constantly exposed to Donald Trump's lying, can develop extreme I.Q. deficiencies, along with uncontrollable fist-pumping and hooting.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Pete Buttigieg Gains Approval Bump Among French Voters

Peter Buttigieg gains approval among French voters after relaying his condolences over the Notre Dame fire in French. Great sentiment, wrong voters.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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CERN Scientists Try to Open Up Wormhole With Anal Speculum

Overworked scientists at CERN Particle accelerator laboratory, resort to installing an anal speculum in particle collider in an effort to open up a wormhole in space/time.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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President Trump Nominates Ivanka to Head World Wank Bank

"She'll be excellent in this role! After all, she's been number one in my personal wank bank since she was twelve years old!"

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 20 April 2019
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White House Spokeswoman Confirms That Reporters are Talking to Trump's Actual Head

White House spokeswoman Sarah Sanders confirms: "Reporters are actually talking to Trump's head, and not a bare ass, flatulent man doing a hand stand."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Psychiatric Researcher Reports on Trump Rally Hallucinations

A psychiatric researcher utilizing LSD during a Trump rally, reports on strange hallucinatory visions of a "kind and caring leader in front of a normal, well-adjusted crowd."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Rudolph Giuliani is Real Life T.V. Show Campy Vampire Grandpa

Rudolph Giuliani is an actual real-life campy-vampire, who has found his rightful place as Lord of Dumbness, and lies within the ghoulish Trump family.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Mueller Report Transcribed Into Four-Hundred Page Coloring Book

In an effort to allow President Trump to better understand the Mueller report, White House staffers have transcribed it into a four-hundred page coloring book, complete with Presidential crayon set.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Bill Signing Tutor Gives Up on President Trump

Special Bill Signing Tutor resigns after spending two years, unsuccessfully, trying to break the President's habit of signing his name in giant-scrawl and childishly showing it to everyone.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Yellow Vest Protesters Turn Violent Over French Elites Before Taking a Break in Five Star Gourmet Bistro

Furious Yellow Vest protestors become violent in Paris, yelling and throwing stones over the issues surrounding French elites. They were later found dining in a five-star gourmet bistro.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Mitt Romney Admits to Being 1950s Ad Dad

Mitt Romney admits that he is the stereotypical 1950s ad-dad minus the tobacco pipe. "I just want to bring all of that gee-golly-neat-mister spirit back to America."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Putin Insiders Describe the Dictators Maniacal Hissing Noise

Henchmen close to Vladimir Putin describe how the Russian dictator hisses like a maniacal vampire, complete with fangs and snake eyes, when the subject of sanctions comes up.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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It's National Vandalism Month

The National Vandalism Foundation is raising money for vandals by encouraging people to take the 'Mail Box Baseball Challenge.'

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Scouts to Add Machine Gun Nest Merit Badge

Scouts to add 'Machine Gun Nest Merit Badge', in an effort to keep pace with rising nationalist trends.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Donald Trump to Replace the Lincoln Monument with the Trump Monument

President Trump to replace the Lincoln Monument with the Trump Monument to commemorate his role in the destruction of the American Republic.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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More Societal Rejects Pledge the Use of Deadly Force

States with 'Right to use deadly force' laws, seeing an uptick in social rejects "Pledging to feel threatened, and randomly shoot people."

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Anger Managment Counsellor Ordered to Enroll in Anger Management Courses

Anger management counsellor ordered to enroll in anger management courses after losing his temper with enraged patient.

written by C/L, 20 April 2019
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Donald Trump Angry that Alec Baldwin is More Popular as Donald Trump Character

Donald Trump's anger continues over actor Alec Baldwin's popular satirical portrayal of him being more likeable than watching the real and abysmal Trump himself.

written by C/L, 21 April 2019
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Trump's Presidential Library to be Built in Moscow's Red Light District

Trump's Presidential Library to be located in Moscow's red light district, the capital of money laundering and "golden showers".

written by C/L, 21 April 2019
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The Press Does Not Know the Truth About My Lies Says White House Press Secretary

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders stated, "Lying for a President who does nothing but lie is exhausting full time work. I can't tell what reality is anymore."

written by C/L, 22 April 2019
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The Three Major Faiths Angered by Buddhism

Christians, Jews, and Muslims wish Buddhists would promote anger, and guilt over enlightenment, and happiness.

written by C/L, 22 April 2019
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Concussion Grenade Manufacturer Applies Schroedinger's Cat Principle to Legal liability

A recent munitions corporation press release has stated,"Our grenades are 100% battlefield effective, but if they're used in acts of civilian terror, people most likely were killed by something else."

written by C/L, 22 April 2019
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Extreme Ice Cream Truck to Debut This Summer

New in the summer T.V. line-up, Extreme Ice Cream Truck promises to combine the suspense of a survival based reality show, with the beloved violence of a Mad Maxian movie chase.

written by C/L, 22 April 2019
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Pharmaceutical Company Who Sickens People With Their Stupid Ads Has Invented a New Drug to Treat It

A Leading pharmaceutical company has created an obscenely overpriced drug to treat the illnesses created by watching their sickening commercials.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Lawn Dart Convention Ends in Mass Tragedy

International Lawn Dart Convention ends in mass tragedy, when a dense crowd of participants throws lawn darts in the air simultaneously in a poorly thought out closing ceremony.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Millions of Catholics Are Secretly Angry With Pope Francis

Millions of Catholics are secretly angry with Pope Francis for breaking the longstanding tradition of being a cold son of a b*tch and standing as a shining example of mocking benevolence.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Republican Senators Hang Portrait of Russian Despot in their Congressional Offices

Anonymous lobbyists report that a majority of Republican Senators have a portrait of dictator Vladimir Putin hanging on their walls where Donald Trump's portrait should be.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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President Trump Perplexed as to why Muammar Gaddafi Is Not Returning His Calls

Angry White house staffers play rock, paper, scissors, to see who will explain to Trump that Gaffadi has been dead for years.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Bruce Lee Festival Shut Down For Massive Nunchuck Brawl

Bruce Lee festival shut down after massive nunchuck brawl breaks out.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Beloved Knife Juggler Remembered After Tickling Tragedy

Beloved knife juggler remembered after his suicidal partner rushes in and tickles him during 'One Hundred Butcher Knives' routine.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Catholic Church Removes Jerked Chicken and Pulled Pork from Seminary Menus

In a misguided effort to avoid subliminal sexual suggestion, Catholic officials remove pulled pork and jerked chicken from seminary menus.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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New Tax on the Poor to Bolster Subsidies to the Wealthiest Americans

Republican Senators set to pass a new tax on the poor to bolster subsidies for the wealthiest Americans.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Dirt Biking Russian Bear Becomes Motorcycle Mechanic

Laid off dirt biking Russian circus bear finds retraining and employment as motorcycle mechanic.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Intelligence Reports Confirm That Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross Sleeps in A Money-Lined Coffin

U.S. Intelligence agencies confirm that Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross sleeps in a coffin lined with laundered money from his days as head of the Cyprus Bank.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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ISIS to Require Formal Applications and Tuition for Enrollment in Their Terrorist Training Program

Falling on hard times, ISIS has been forced to formalize their suicide bomber training. Interested candidates will now have to fill out application forms, and pay tuition for their courses.

written by C/L, 23 April 2019
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Fisher Price Nationalist Tot Play Set Line Discontinued

Nationalist parents angry over Fisher Price's decision to halt development of field strippable, assault rifle toy play set for toddlers.

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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Monkey With Machine Gun Given a Lesser Charge of Manslaughter

Prosecutors reduce charges to manslaughter for murderous machine gun-wielding monkey. "He didn't know what he was doing, he's just a monkey."

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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White Trash Americans Finally Find Purpose as Vigilante Border Patrol

Discontented white trash Americans finally find purpose in terrorizing innocent asylum-seeking migrants, as members of vigilante border patrols.

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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Corporation Looking to Utilize Infamous Weedkiller to Treat the Cancer that it Causes

Major Corporation petitions FDA to approve infamous weedkiller for use as a highly overpriced cancer treatment drug for the cancers that it most likely causes.

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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Florida Wal Mart Welcomes Emotional Support Alligators

Florida Wal Mart is enjoying an uptick in business as it formally welcomes red neck patrons with emotional support alligators.

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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God Reveals His Atheism

Millions of religious fanatics all over the world were crushed by the news that God is an atheist. "I'm a flawed imaginary being who has never believed in myself, I don't know why anyone else would."

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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Artificially Intelligent Autonomous Tank Receives Sex Reassignment Surgery

The world's first autonomous tank received sex reassignment surgery yesterday when army mechanics sawed off his turret cannon.

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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Sisyphus Shocked Over Bolder Staying Put

Greek myth correspondent reports that, earlier today, Sisyphus pushed his bolder up the hill for the billionth time, and surprisingly it stayed put. Sisyphus now to go somewhere quiet and cry.

written by C/L, 24 April 2019
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Pacific Ocean Declared Massive World Heritage Aquatic Dump Site

Anti-environmentalist group proudly bestows World Heritage Aquatic Dump Status on the massive trash vortex in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

written by C/L, 25 April 2019
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A Texas Jury Finds Swarm of Killer Bees Guilty of Premeditated Murder of Rodeo Clown

A Texas jury found a hive of Killer bees guilty of premeditated murder of a rodeo clown in her home. The judge is expected to sentence the swarm to death by flamethrower.

written by C/L, 25 April 2019
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Man Dies from Dangerous Brain Farts Caused by Binge Watching Violent Action Movies

Man dies from brain farts which doctors conclude had displaced his entire frontal lobe due to binge watching violent and corny action films.

written by C/L, 25 April 2019
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Joe Biden Lines Up For 'Avengers: Endgame' By Mistake

Said the former Vice-President, "There's so many people in this line-up, that I thought they were all of my rival Democratic Party nominees!"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 25 April 2019
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Religious Researchers Conclude that Open-mindedness Causes Unnecessary Intelligence

A conservative religious think-tank has concluded through grumpy discussions that open-mindedness causes unnecessary intelligence which dangerously competes with their imaginary God's genius.

written by C/L, 25 April 2019
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Israeli Government Bans Palestinians From Possessing G-Strings

Israeli government officials have banned all Palestinians from possessing g-strings. Officials feel that they could be removed and used as impromptu sling-shots.

written by C/L, 25 April 2019
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Man Sells Fifty-Thousand Dollar Snuff Film Collection to Benefit Humanitarian Causes

Man sells his extensive snuff film library and donates the proceeds to various humanitarian causes that he saw while watching a documentary on the subject.

written by C/L, 25 April 2019
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Tenured Professor Finally Finishes Paper on 1970s Kung Fu Fighting Phenomenon

Unfortunately tenured professor of social studies finally completes 15,000-page 45-year paper on whether or not everyone was kung fu fighting in the 1970s.

written by C/L, 25 April 2019
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President Trump Loses His Excitement for Subpoenas

Donald Trump initially thought that talk of subpoenas was Latin speak for big penises. After it was explained to him that it was a type of legal order, he angrily lost all interest.

written by C/L, 26 April 2019
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Japan's Real Ninja Warrior Show Gets Top Ratings for Authentic Violence

Unlike the American version, Japan's Real Ninja Warrior Show pits contestants against real Samurai posted in old castles. The violence is authentic, and the suspense is intense!

written by C/L, 26 April 2019
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NASA Fights Efforts to Force the Agency into Using Coal Fired Rockets

Coal Interests in league with economic nationalists have put forth a moronic proposal in the conservative dominated US Senate to force NASA into using steam-propelled coal fired rockets.

written by C/L, 26 April 2019
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Trump Jealous Over Kim Jong-un Bestowing Ceremonial Sword on Vladimir Putin

White House insiders stated that Trump is angry that Kim Jong-un gave a cool sword to Vladimir Putin, and not him. He is pouting, wishing they could all have a "three-way-bromance"!

written by C/L, 26 April 2019
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President Trump Worried That Black Hole Pictures Could Hurt His Poll Numbers

A Mar-a-Lago member was shocked when President Trump told her, "I'm worried about these astronomers having pictures of my black hole. I thought Michael Cohen paid off all the women."

written by C/L, 26 April 2019
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I Can Land The Plane

Both Attorney General Barr and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein seem to compete to see who could land the Mueller Report plane. But the plane is beginning to look more like a Boeing 737 Max.

written by K.C. Bell, 26 April 2019
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'Everybody Lies' A New Trump Children's Book

Ivanka Trump's new children's book, 'Everybody Lies', will see publication soon. Ivanka is worried that an overabundance of honesty could harm children's ability to serve wealthy interests.

written by C/L, 26 April 2019
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Makers of Fire in the Hole Adult Sex Toy Game Facing Class Action Law Suit

Makers of 'Fire in the Hole' pyrotechnic anal sex toy game are facing a class action law suit over their allegedly defective explosive butt-plug inserts.

written by C/L, 27 April 2019
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Seafood Restaurant Spontaneously Evacuates Over Masturbation Joke

Patrons aggressively evacuate gourmet seafood restaurant after chef's joke about masturbating into the tartar sauce bowl is widely overheard.

written by C/L, 27 April 2019
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Trump on Track for Telling the Most Lies of Any American President

President Trump stated that he would like to hit the ten-thousandth lie mark before his thousandth-day in office.

written by C/L, 27 April 2019
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Donald Trump Claims that Robert E Lee was the Finest Un-American American

In a statement earlier today Trump said, "Robert E Lee was the finest Un-American American, and that we can all be proud as Un-American Americans of Robert E Lee's kindly and tolerant bigotry."

written by C/L, 27 April 2019
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Jared Kushner Walking the Streets of Washington in Royal Saudi Garb

AP sources speculate a significant change in White House foreign policy with regards to Saudi Arabia, after spotting Jared Kushner in Royal Saudi garb over the past several days.

written by C/L, 27 April 2019
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New Epic Comic Book Film set to be Another Cliche Block Buster

Epic comic book movie expected to set another in a long line of cliche box office records, all while numbing every bodies senses with non-stop special effects, and a paper thin story-line.

written by C/L, 28 April 2019
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NRA Backs Hand Gun Vending Machines

NRA gives its enthusiastic support for a major gun manufacturer's bid to establish hand gun vending machine franchises across America.

written by C/L, 28 April 2019
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Climate Change Denier Dies from Barbecuing Chicken in Her Home

Woman dies of carbon monoxide poisoning from barbecuing chicken in her home when she attempts to prove to her neighbor that pollution doesn't exist.

written by C/L, 28 April 2019
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White Nationalist Compound Leveled in Vibrating Bed Explosion

Seventy white nationalists perish in massive detonation when two of their comrades hoarding nitroglycerine vials and crates of dynamite in their room, turn on vibrating bed while having sex.

written by C/L, 28 April 2019
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Trump Declares ISIS to be Very Fine People

Donald Trump declares ISIS to be very fine people, after viewing an online video of members marching in white polo shirts, while carrying tiki-torches, rebel flags, and yelling anti-Semitic slurs.

written by C/L, 28 April 2019
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Public Baffled Over Trump's Disconnet in Regards to AntiSemitism and His Jewish Family Members

The public continues to be baffled as to why Trump doesn't see the connection between supporting white nationalism and how it endangers the Jewish members of his family.

written by C/L, 28 April 2019
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White House Officials Save the International Space Station from Trump Ordered Attack

White House Officials Save the International Space Station from attack, after they explain to President Trump that ISS is not a terrorist caliphate in space.

written by C/L, 29 April 2019
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Polls Show that Joe Biden is America's Favorite Ditzy Politician

Polls show that Americans feel that Joe Biden is their number one beloved, ditzy politician, more likely to set his foot in his mouth than he is to set it in the Oval Office.

written by C/L, 29 April 2019
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In Bernie's Psychedelic Mushroom Vermont Forest Shrine

Much of Bernie's royalties have gone into a woodsy shrine to all his idolized Socialist-Commie dictators. Castro, Lenin, Mao, Ortega, Pol Pot, Stalin - all have a place among psychedelic "musshies."

written by Trinculoman, 29 April 2019
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Degree of Trump's Stupidity Can Now be Measured in Megatons

The International Atomic Energy Agency has created a mathematical equation describing Trump's stupidity: Trump's ego, times his IQ, divided by his hatred, equals eminent megaton yields.

written by C/L, 30 April 2019
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Anti-Intellectual Foundation Studying Khmer Rouge Philosophy

Conservative think tank studying Pol Pot's anti-intellectual policies, in the hopes of giving white nationalists an advantage over people with brains.

written by C/L, 30 April 2019
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Russian Government Sued Over Mustard Gas Commercial

The Russian Government is facing a law suit over an illegal spoof of famous mustard commercial titled: "Pardon Me, Do You Have any Gr*y P**pon Mustard Gas?" Marketed specifically to dictatorships.

written by C/L, 30 April 2019
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Democrats Content to Watch Democracy Die

The Democratic leadership in Washington is perfectly content to watch President Trump and white nationalists flush liberty down the toilet, as long as they can hold on to their jobs.

written by C/L, 30 April 2019
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William Barr Admits That he Just Hates People

Bill Barr was overheard stating to a colleague in the Justice department men's room, "I just enjoy sh*tting in people's cheerios, I love to ruin people's freedom, and poop on their proverbial party!"

written by C/L, 30 April 2019
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Sociologists find that Flatulance can be a Wonderful Ice Breaker in Business

In a recent study of several hundred Wall Street brokers, researchers have found that tense business meetings end with a high degree of success if several participants fart during negotiations.

written by C/L, 30 April 2019
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Trump Brags About Spanking Rod Rosenstein Like a Bad Little Boy

In a recent White House get together Bill Barr and Donald Trump chuckled about how Trump pulled Rosenstein's pants down, turned him over his knee and spanked his ass red.

written by C/L, 30 April 2019
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Trump Sues German Bank to Conceal His Dirty Money Laundry

In a panicked attempt to keep his dirty money laundry from being aired, Donald Trump sues German bank.

written by C/L, 01 May 2019
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Putin Creates Polonium Tea Company

In an effort to broaden Russian trade to more than just gas, weapons, and hacking, Putin establishes the Polonium Tea Company.

written by C/L, 01 May 2019
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Barr compares Mueller's Phone Call to Charlie Brown Cartoon Voice

Bill Barr claims that all he could hear during Mueller's complaint call over his report was the Charlie Brown teacher's voice, "whaaa, whaaa, whaaa, waaa."

written by C/L, 01 May 2019
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Rumors Confirm That Mulvaney Rides Around the Oval Office on Children's Tricycle

Donald Trump delights in watching Mick Mulvaney ride around the oval office on a child's tricycle while lauding Trump for his "fiscal genius."

written by C/L, 01 May 2019
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Flying Kremlin Monkeys Signal the Start of Putin's 2020 US Presidential Election Interference Season

Flying monkeys carrying laptop computers and wearing confederate flag T-shirts seen flying around the Kremlin in a lead-up to 2020 presidential election, interference season.

written by C/L, 01 May 2019
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Wanker's Chocolate Factory to Merge with King Potty Septic Treatment Corporation

Wanker's Chocolate Factory receives approval from the Trump administration to merge with King Potty Septic Treatment Corporation.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019
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William Barr Slated to Spend Another Day in the Justice Department Laughing at the Constitution

William Barr is slated to spend yet another day with his feet up on his desk flouting the rule of law and trashing democracy while he eats cheeseburgers and follows Trump's tweets.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019
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New Reality Show Cake Room Escape Room to Air and be Cancelled Soon

A new ridiculous reality show Cake Room Escape Room, is set to make its disastrous debut, followed by its imminent cancellation.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019
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Cooking Shows Just Destroy People's Dreams

A recent study concludes that harsh reality cooking shows just make aspiring chefs feel like shit, and crush their hopes and dreams.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019
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Surgeon Discovers Trump's Brain in Colo-Rectal Region

Bethesda Naval Hospital surgeon halts procedure to remove large mass in President Trump's upper rectum when he realizes the mass is actually critical brain tissue.

written by C/L, 03 May 2019
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Friendly Russian Recruited Beluga Spy Disappears

Friendly Russian-recruited, Beluga whale spy disappears after seafaring camera crew blows its cover.

written by C/L, 03 May 2019
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NRA Officially Adopts The Kalashnikov Assault Rifle as its Emblem to Honor Russian Oligarchs

The NRA adopts the Kalashnikov assault rifle as its official emblem in honor of Russian oligarch's continued efforts to aid in the establishment of authoritarianism in America.

written by C/L, 04 May 2019
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Mattel Anounces Its Witless, Lying, Clueless Pygmy Line

Branching out in new novelty items, Mattel added the Jerry Nadslur, the Adam Shifty-Sh*tty, and Ilan Omygallallah, an AOC-Beanstalk, a Beto-Blatherer, a Bernie-Loonie, and a Biden-B-Goofy to its line.

written by Trinculoman, 04 May 2019
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President's Orwellian Campaign to Rehabilitate Fascism Continues Unabated

Yesterday in an hour-long phone call with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, President Trump took painstaking notes about Putin's fascist strategy on large newsprint pad in crayon.

written by C/L, 04 May 2019
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The Kardashians Moving Into Politics

If the Kardashians were to go into politics, they would be the Trumps.

written by K.C. Bell, 04 May 2019
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Supreme Court Disqualifies Trump, Removes him from Presidency

A review of tapes from the Republican 2016 presidential debates reveals that Trump bumped Ohio governor Kasich as the candidates entered the stage for the second debate.

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 06 May 2019
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