There were 120 spoof news snippets published in 2019. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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President Has Fortified the White House While Shutting Down the Government

Trump swears that no subpoenas for him or family will penetrate through his new security devices.

written by Al N., 03 January 2019
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Swedish Warships to Have Barcodes...

...so that they can Scan-da-navy-in.

written by Paxton Quigley, 03 January 2019
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Republicans Issue Blinders to all Their Followers

In regards to Trump talking, earplugs to follow.

written by Al N., 06 January 2019
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Woman Demands Bubble Bath

A woman from Blackburn has been heard ranting and raving saying that she should be given a bubble bath. She says this, rests and then says it again. They won’t give her one, you know.

written by Imnotcrazy, 10 January 2019
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Trump Falsely Claims He Never Said Mexico Will Pay For The Border Wall

Also falsely claims that Mike Pence, and not he, farted in the Oval Office. Quoted as saying, "Hey, Mikey, you smelt it, you dealt it!"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 11 January 2019
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Pelosi Does Believe in Some Kind of 'Walls'

House Speaker Pelosi denies a Southern border wall. Yet, she avidly "walls" herself off from the reality of 'Angel Families' who have lost loved ones to the acts of illegal immigrant criminals.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019
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Elizabeth Warren Still Trying To Transform Her Roots

Latest Warren gambit is a Twitter video showing her under hood of her Mercedes. Face besmirched, she turns to the camera, citing her descent from 'grease monkeys'--Oops, didn't she mean auto mechanics.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019
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Joe Biden Takes a Major Step in His Planned 2020 Presidential Run

Biden is preparing a significant trip in service of his putative 2020 candidacy. Joe is stuffing his pack for the trek to the Emerald City to plead with the Wizard of Oz to finally give him a brain.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019
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Beto O'Rourke Sets Up Next Extremely Personal Video Campaign Teaser

After airing his dental visit, Beto is making a next major campaign move. He has contracted with Proctology Now to broadcast live his upcoming colonoscopy. Voters will see what Beto is really about.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019
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Joe Biden Plans a Visit to a Fellow Joe Before Taking Off to OZ

A key research step prior to the OZ trip will be Biden visiting Joe Scarboro to find out how he lost his brain as a result of appearing on MSNBC. Wicked Witch Mika may have something to do with it.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019
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'It's Jaggedone's Good News Week!'

Loved by many, hated by others, Jaggedone has this piece of good news for everybody: "Brexshit has now hit the fan and those who perpetrated the whole fiasco have shit on their pompous faces!"

written by Jaggedone, 15 January 2019
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Norwegian Wood cures Portuguese virus!

In a mega EU co-operation (before Brexshit), Norway sent their Messiah to Manchester to cure a Portuguese virus that spread its poison. Luckily, Norwegian Wood destroyed the Portugeuse worm!

written by Jaggedone, 15 January 2019
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Trump's Twitter Admission: I am an idiot...

but I'm not Putin's useful idiot.

written by Paxton Quigley, 15 January 2019
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'Comfortably Dumb' is Trump's new theme song!

Pink Floyd have written a new 'Wall' song in honor of Trump's walls; Wall Street, Mexican Wall, White House Walls, etc. Roger Walters purposely renamed it, 'Comfortably Dumb' instead of 'Numb!'

written by Jaggedone, 16 January 2019
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Boris Johnson admits his ancestors were Prussian Neanderthals!

BOJO, has discovered through an Italian grapevine that his ancestors were Jurassic Neanderthals from Dusseldorf, Germany. There are reports from Westminster that a suicide has taken place!

written by Jaggedone, 16 January 2019
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Ole Solskaer admits Norwegian Wood is his fave Beatles song, OOPS!

Interim Man U manager, Ole, loves the Beatles from Liverpool and his fave song is obvious! However, Man U fans are in outrage and want him sacked because anything coming from Liverpool is shit!!

written by Jaggedone, 16 January 2019
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Sensational divorce news! Jaggedone divorces Brexit!

One can only take so much! After consulting lawyers and pleading for sanity, Jaggedone, decided to divorce May, Johnson, Farage, Mogg and, last not least, Brexit! Holland has welcomed a new Nutter!

written by Jaggedone, 18 January 2019
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The Wall Street Journal Will Change its Name

It's now called the "Barrier Street Journal."

written by Al N., 18 January 2019
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Trump Says He Was Misunderstood About the Wall

He now says he really wanted to build a "Wall Street" on the border to inspire more business.

written by Al N., 18 January 2019
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DC Comics Demands that Washington, D.C. Change Their Name

"They may have been first, but we've had the initials TRADEMARKED!" said a DC rep.

written by Al N., 20 January 2019
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Ocasio-Cortez's One Billionaire Exception

The bug-eyed Sage-ess of Queens joyfully clarifies her prohibition of all billionaires. Ocasio-Cortez exempts George Soros, noting he is her dear mentor and "papi de azucar!"

written by Trinculoman, 22 January 2019
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The Irrelevancy of John Kerry

Perennial Enemy-Collaborator (VietNam, Iran, China, etc), John Kerry, has far exceeded his sell-by date, but the networks still don't get it. When he croaks on TV, citizens could give a (bleep)!

written by Trinculoman, 23 January 2019
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Trump Demands Changes to Robert Frost's Poem Mending Wall

Trump wants the line "Good fences make good neighbors" changed to "Good WALLs make good neighbors."

written by Al N., 25 January 2019
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Opposition leader Juan Guaidó Declares Himself President, but...

Venezuelan Opposition leader Juan Guaidó declared himself interim president, until he realized his mistake.
"President of Venezuela?! I thought it was for Ecuador! Never mind then!"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 25 January 2019
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Trump is Overheard Saying that He Needs to Get the Government Going for Three Weeks

He can't get anyone to help him write his State of the Union speech because of the shutdown.

written by Al N., 26 January 2019
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Nancy Tells Donald That a Wall Will Be Built. Donald is So Happy He Doesn't, For Once, Ask a Lot of Questions

Imagine his surprise when the next day he saw government troops building a wall around Mar-A-Lago.

written by Al N., 26 January 2019
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President's "Undocumented" Golf Course Workers Fired

...Ten years after the President knew about them. Hope they weren't expecting a pension!

written by Al N., 28 January 2019
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God Warns Sarah Sanders To Never Talk About Him Again

God will be giving an interview to CNN to explain free will and how He is not to blame for Trump.

written by Al N., 31 January 2019
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300,000 Jobs Added in January

How many of those jobs were taken by shutout federal workers?

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 02 February 2019
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The Physics of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) Explained

AOC demonstrates a measure of intelligence quotient that is in inverse ratio to accelerating volubility, impelled by a delusion of superior morality and inherent virtue.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 02 February 2019
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The Physics of Chris Christie Explained

New Jersey Ex-Governor Christie demonstrates the physical phenomenon of pizza gone terribly wrong.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 02 February 2019
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Old Street Sweepers Never Die...

They just reach the end of the road.

written by Adam Click, 02 February 2019
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Royal family to be ejaculated to c*untryside says No 10

Hard luck, eh?

written by queen mudder, 04 February 2019
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The Physics of Bernie Sanders Explained

It's a rare, but not isolated, phenomenon where farts produced by inefficient digestion of psychedelic Vermont mushrooms issue from the oral cavity, and are misinterpreted as speech..

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 05 February 2019
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The Physics of Nancy Pelosi Explained

A truly unusual case:a 19th century automaton(in dire need of replacement) has been fabricated with periodic face shedding and mechanically wired with a squawk of a turkey vulture.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 06 February 2019
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'Squeaky Benders' latest TV series to go viral!

As a sequel to Peaky Blinders, Jaggedone's latest literary bombshell, 'Squeaky Benders' goes viral on TV. It's a 6-series show with frontman, a transgender, squeaking his rubber ducks in the bath!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019
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Combustial farting banned in BA's Business lounge!

BA has banned any form of combustial farting in their business lounge! However, silent farting is still allowed, as long as it's done in privacy, and does not disturb other passengers!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019
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May performs splits in front of Juncker!

PM May revealed everything in her 'Backstop' to the EU. In Brussels she performed a huge 'splits' in front of EU top brass. However, her 'backstop' remained closed so they told her to go to 'Hell!'

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019
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Klopp claims he is sane after all!

Liverpool manager, Klopp, has attempted to convince UK tabloids he is really sane, and, for the first time in tabloid history, they told the truth; he is a total Prussian Nutter!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019
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What Crawls Out?

Jeff Bezos says, “I prefer to stand up, roll this log over, and see what crawls out.”

Cherchez la femme.

written by K.C. Bell, 09 February 2019
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Jared Kushner and Trump Sons Are Working on a New Gig "Just in Case"

"Everyone says that we should go on the road as a Three Stooges tribute act, so maybe," said Eric.

written by Al N., 13 February 2019
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Putin Offers Trump Sanctuary If He's Deposed

"I'm saving a nice little apartment for him and the kids in this swell spot in Siberia!" said Putin.

written by Al N., 13 February 2019
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New Gluten-Free Bible Popular with Both Christian and Jewish Dieters

Christians like that the bread in Feeding the Multitudes was Gluten-Free; Jewish the G-F Unleavened.

written by Al N., 14 February 2019
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Putin to Meet With Amazon's Jeff Bezos

Trump said that he didn't care Putin was meeting with his foe, and then put his fist thru a window.

written by Al N., 15 February 2019
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Trump Doesn't Know How to Issue a State of Emergency and Accidently Declares Martial Law

When he found out his mistake, he immediately tried to correct it by outlawing the Democratic Party.

written by Al N., 15 February 2019
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The Physics of Beto O'Rourke Explained

Beto O'Rourke demonstrates an instance of random kinesis in tandem with incoherent sound emissions and methane exudations in a political blackhole.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 15 February 2019
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Eric Trump Accidently Blurts Out the Real Reason for Trump Declaring a National Emergency

"Daddy was mad at all the attention the Virginia politicians were getting so he did what he had to!"

written by Al N., 17 February 2019
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Scientists Warn Against Another North Korea-United States Summit Due to Trump's Weight Gain

Scientists are afraid that when Trump and Kim Jong-Un meet again, it could alter the Earth's orbit.

written by Al N., 17 February 2019
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Trump is Attempting to Get Veterans and Jewish Leaders to Contribute to the Wall

Trump told the veterans they can put names on the Wall like the Vietnam Wall. Jewish? Wailing Wall!!

written by Al N., 18 February 2019
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Daily Star reveals secret behind their popularity!

Bums, boobs, sex scandals and VIP garbage are not the secret behind the Daily Star's UK popularity! They revealed their secret: Star reporters are aged between 6 and 13, and write kids fairy porkies!

written by Jaggedone, 22 February 2019
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Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Claims He Was Set Up With Prostitutes

"They said there was a top college star behind the door, but when I opened the door it was uh, uh...

written by Al N., 22 February 2019
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Persistence

Headline on my ISP: “Boeheim to coach Syracuse vs. No. 1 Duke after fatal crash.”

That’s what I call persistence.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 22 February 2019
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Now There's A New Official Award Category at the Oscars

Supplanting the out-of-date one for Achievement in Film Directing is the new category for Solamente Directors Cinematecas Mexicanos---all gringos need not apply.

written by Trinculoman, 25 February 2019
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BREAKING NEWS

Trump says Attila the Hun assured him he had no idea there was a massacre(s).

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 01 March 2019
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Paul Merson proves ex-footy players are morons!

Merson, Ince, Sutton, Scholes, Neville, etc, you name them, we shame them! Their in-depth bullshit knowledge of footy is CRAP, clouded in boozy-notions! My flea-bitten dog could predict games better!

written by Jaggedone, 01 March 2019
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Ole's Offspring!!

First there were the Busby Babes, then Fergie's Fledglings, now the greatest club in the world has OLE'S OFFSPRING!!
A NORWEGIAN WOULD!

written by Jaggedone, 07 March 2019
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Ocasio-Cortez Leads Fight in the House to Abolish Executive Branch

Manwhile, Eric Trump says his dad is looking into passing more prison reform bills, "just in case."

written by Al N., 09 March 2019
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Latest Innovation in Dodgy Congressional Representation

Congresswoman IIan Omar actually fronts for Council on American Islamic Relations - a group supporting Hamas and Hezbollah terrorists. Such a role would surely have been approved by Benedict Arnold!

written by Trinculoman, 09 March 2019
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Yet Another Honor for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Latest Fete for AOC was given by the Frederich Engels Society for the Perpetuation of Addled and Clueless Collectivist Ideology. Presenting the award, most aptly, was addled and clueless Chelsea Manning.

written by Trinculoman, 09 March 2019
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Hillary Clinton To Sue Donald Trump

Hillary Clinton plans to sue Donald Trump for calling her Crooked Hillary over half a million times. She's looking forward to winning and retiring at Mar-A-Lago.

written by K.C. Bell, 09 March 2019
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Obama is Deported to Kenya

"I don't know anything about it" said Trump. "Everyone knows I never interfere with immigration."

written by Al N., 10 March 2019
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R Kelly worried about getting the electric chair

He believes he could fry.

written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface, 13 March 2019
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Beto's Deep Regret Will Lead To A New Feature In His Campaign

Beto O'Rourke's "deep regret" at being a white man will most likely propel him to transform into donning 'black face' and doing a skate-board ridin', arms flappin' Bojangles routine on Iowa stops.

written by Trinculoman, 15 March 2019
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Mitt Romney Needs No Special Protective Armed Squad

As evidenced by his vote denying a national emergency at the Border, Romney walks around impervious to attack from would-be assaulters---the overpowering smell of skunk is truly effective.

written by Trinculoman, 15 March 2019
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Michael Jackson Breaks Silence

Local psychic claims exclusive rights as Mr. Jackson's conduit.

written by Michael Sienicki, 15 March 2019
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A Familiar Face Appears To Be a Primary Challenger To Ilan Omar

It's no other than Ex-Senator Al Franken. "I'm only finding myself" Al has been caught on CCTV in drag and a turban in Omar's district attending the Berlitz Somalian school. A Trannie political redux?

written by Trinculoman, 16 March 2019
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Guess Who's Mueller's Next Target? It's Beto!

Mueller's "skunk works" cyber guys trolled the Black Net and uncovered it was 'Hacker' Beto who got all the DNC and Hillary emails. So, Beto's next gig will not be a primary run but as Russian mole.

written by Trinculoman, 19 March 2019
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Trump Gives Fox Network Official Orders to Stop Harassing Tucker and Judge Jeanine

FoxTV has Fox & Friends make the official reply and they promise Trump they'll do better next time.

written by Al N., 19 March 2019
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Attorney General Barr Just Appointed Another Independent Counsel

Judge Janine Piro has accepted an appointment as Independent Counsel for Kicking Ass on All DOJ Embedded, Trump-Deranged, Arrogant, Self-Entitled, Coup d'etat -Pledged, Deep State Socialist Progressives.

written by Trinculoman, 20 March 2019
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Labels

Politician labels himself as politician who doesn’t like labels.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 21 March 2019
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Trump Claims That He Has Lost the Mueller Report

...And that means that they'll have to do the whole thing over.

written by Al N., 24 March 2019
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Maybe You Can Indict Trump

Maybe a president can’t be indicted, but Trump’s crimes of collusion with Russia happened before he became president.

written by K.C. Bell, 26 March 2019
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Jussie Smollett Nominated for Premier False Narrative Fabricator of the Year

The Ptolemaic Flat Earth Society confirmed citing Smollett for its annual award. However, competition will be fierce: AOC, John Brennan, Adam Schiff, Beto O'Rourke, and Kamala Harris are also favored,

written by Trinculoman, 27 March 2019
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"Pencil-Neck" Congressman Schiff Reveals the Latest Plot of Russian "Collusion"

Pencil-necked & paper-brained Adam Schiff is undeterred in his quest for "collusion." He now claims that Russian babushka dolls are plotting to replace U.S.A. "bobble-head" trinkets, such as himself.

written by Trinculoman, 29 March 2019
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Emboldened by the Mueller Report, Trump Calls His Presidency a "Religious Calling"

Since he now resembles a religion, Trump has announced that he is now exempt from paying any taxes.

written by Al N., 01 April 2019
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Mueller and Everyone Involved in Mueller Probe Mysteriously Disappear

"It's a mystery. To think they might never be found and we'll never know what happened!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 01 April 2019
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American Psychiatric League (APL) Has Just Defined Another Mental Derangement Condition

APL has named the condition Jerri-Ladner-psychotic mania. It refers to a mental state which refuses to acknowledge any form of objective reality, being neuro-logically consumed by progressive cant.

written by Trinculoman, 01 April 2019
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Goosestepping Becomes Mandatory in North Korea

A recent study by North Korean experts has concluded that it is easier to apprehend goosestepping defectors versus those who are running;
As a result, goosestepping has become mandatory.

written by C/L, 02 April 2019
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President Trump's Alternative Truth Initiative

President Trump recently instructed Education Secretary, Betsy Devos, to implement his new 'Alternative Truth curriculum', in all public schools.

written by C/L, 02 April 2019
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Putin Invites Trump to Witness Destruction of U.S.

Donald Trump proudly accepts Vladimir Putin's invitation to exclusive Kremlin dinner party, held to witness, and celebrate an eminent nuclear-born, hyper-sonic missile attack of the United States.

written by C/L, 03 April 2019
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Man Slips into Coma after Trump Rally

An unidentified man slipped into a coma, after attending a recent Trump rally. He was irresponsibly exposed to educational information, which caused brain damage in his, severely, IQ-depleted state.

written by C/L, 03 April 2019
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"Creepy" Joe Biden Makes a Move to Get His Presidential Bid On-Track

Joe enrolled in Anthony Wiener's newly-founded Hair-Sniffin'/Body Gropin'/Non-Sextin' Reprogramming Survival Course. Bubba Clinton has also expressed interest, but only if he can get Monica for breaks.

written by Trinculoman, 03 April 2019
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Kelly Ann Conway Threatens to Divorce Husband

Recently, sources close to Kelly Ann have said that, "She is tired of George pointing out unavoidable-facts to her, and poisoning the children's minds with deductive-reasoning; It has got to stop!"

written by C/L, 04 April 2019
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Donald Trump to inspect the Muzzle of Anti-Aircraft Cannon in North Korea

Donald Trump will inspect the barrel of a North Korean Anti-Aircraft Cannon when he finally visits. Chairman Kim wants the President to see how fast the rounds can travel.

written by C/L, 04 April 2019
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Theresa May offers to Swim up the Thames Naked

In a increasingly desperate bid to secure a Brexit deal; Theresa May offers to, "Swim up the Thames naked." British MP's said they would consider it, "If May were to swim across the Channel instead."

written by C/L, 04 April 2019
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Vladimir Putin to Publish New Dictator's Guide Book

Vladimir Putin set to publish a new guide book next month entitled: 'How to Influence Stupid Leaders, and Take Over Their Countries.'

written by C/L, 04 April 2019
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Jared Kushner Sells State Secrets to Saudi Kingdom

President Trump orders Jared Kushner to sell State Secrets to the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia to begin fundraising campaign for Trump's reelection bid.

written by C/L, 05 April 2019
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Change to the meaning of the titles of U.N. and NATO

Trump demands that the title of United Nations be changed to United Nationalists, and that the North Atlantic Treaty Organization be changed to North Atlantic Totalitarian Organization.

written by C/L, 05 April 2019
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Trump Demands to See the Oranges in the Mueller Report

The only thing orange in the Mueller Report is the Orange-Man himself, Donald Trump.

written by Al N., 05 April 2019
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Trump Declares April 20th International Dictator's Day

President Trump Declares Hitler's Birthday as International Dictator's Day. Trump stated that, "Dictators are fine, misunderstood people, and we need our own special day!"

written by C/L, 06 April 2019
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Nancy Pelosi Believes that Acting Sternly is Going to Produce the Mueller Report

Nancy Pelosi believes that finger-wagging, scowling, and talking tersely about demanding the Mueller report, is going to magically shame Bill Barr into giving the report to the Judiciary Committee.

written by C/L, 06 April 2019
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Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia to Take Over World Famous Fast Food Chain

The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has decided to make a hostile takeover bid for world famous burger chain; in the hopes of being able to serve up more reporters.

written by C/L, 06 April 2019
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Trump Says the Mueller Report Absolves Him of All Crimes

"The Mueller Report completely exonerates me about Stormy Daniels, grabbing pussies, lying, etc."

written by Al N., 07 April 2019
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Wastepaper Basket-Ball

Office workers in a Manchester IT corporation have started a new craze: Wastepaper Basket-Ball. This involves rounds of wastepaper shots. The game is normally played between software build cycles.

written by Nate John Won, 07 April 2019
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Animal Olympics ‘Chuck-a-Zoo’ event

The ‘Chuck-a-Zoo’ Olympic committee have sanctioned the acceptance of Wallaroos into the annual competition. The new ‘Chuck-a-roo’ event will follow the historic ‘Chuck-a-moo’ 50m circular.

written by Nate John Won, 07 April 2019
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Clarification on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's (AOC) Degree from the US Institute of Minerological Science

AOC's degree from B.U. was not really granted cum laude. Recent testing by the Institute definitively confirms that it actually read as cum lead, due to the real substance in her cranium.

written by Trinculoman, 08 April 2019
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A Definitive Explanation of the Origin of "Beto" O'Rourke's Name

Though typically mispronounced by Left-wing Media, it actually refers to his ongoing habit of sticking his Left (in accord with Progressive Dicta) Toe in his ass--thus a correct cognomen is "Butt-Toe."

written by Trinculoman, 08 April 2019
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Trump Administration to "Force" Famous Cola Company to Add Cocaine to its Cola Again

Donald Trump, in a typically stunning and random move, has reached out to that "Famous Cola company," and has forcefully suggested that, "it should return to adding cocaine to its famous Cola drink."

written by C/L, 08 April 2019
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"Air Humping" Banned in Saudi Kingdom

Crown Prince MBS has officially banned "Air-Humping" anywhere in the Kingdom after receiving reports of immature Westerners engaging in the lewd display around luxury resort swimming pools.

written by C/L, 08 April 2019
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Not True About Trump

No. Though the rumors are flying, Donald Trump is not going to move to the Mexican border and sit and watch for trespassers, while holding a catcher’s mitt.

written by K.C. Bell, 08 April 2019
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