After failing to bring the G-7 summit leaders to his struggling Miami hotel, President Trump has decided to rebrand his resort as the final resting place for unwanted dictators. The Wall Street Journal and Bloomberg News have reported the Trump International Beach Resort has been struggling for years with high vacancy rates. Nevertheless, rebranding it as a destination for deceased tyrants, caught hospitality analysts off-guard. "I think it's a brilliant move, because no other hotel titan - Hilton, Marriott, no one - is in that space," said Frank Dudley, president of the American Hotel and Lodging Association (AHLA).
According to White House Minister of Truth, Shiv Aalok, the opportunity to rebrand the property for the despised, came about after the president called Pedro Sanchez, Spanish Prime Minister, to discuss whether Spain would be interested in a Trump hotel. "I know President Trump likes to make deals. So I said maybe your idea could work, because we have a big hole in the ground from where we exhumed General Franco, and putting a hotel there might be great, but only if you are willing to take Franco's body. Trump immediately said si senor!"
"I expect the hotel will reopen in 2020. The tentative name will be the Trump International Tomb for the Terrible. It will be great. Some people even say spectacular. Think about it. Every despot buried in one place. I'm getting goose bumps. At each hole of the golf course, there will be a mausoleum for the notorious. I'm getting inquiries from all over the world, telling me I'm the greatest visionary," said a cheerful President Trump.