Washington, D.C. - At least a thousand people say they observed an unidentified flying object (UFO) circling the White House last evening. Some observers say it looked like a cigar shaped object moving at lightning speed. Another observer said it must have been a drone. Others say it looked more like someone with a big black hat riding a broom with an orange head impaled on the end - possibly a pumpkin with a moss comb-over. I suppose the upcoming Halloween holiday may have influenced their observations.
White House Secret Service scrambled with guns drawn to quickly fend off the impending threat. F-22A Raptors were launched from Joint Base Andrews, Maryland to intercept. Then, almost as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone.
The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) was quick to issue a statement to allay Washington, D.C. residents' fears concerning the incident. In part, the statement read: "It was just a weather balloon. Things have been getting hotter at the White House lately, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) was doing some tests to see if the rise in temperature was atmospheric related or global warming."
A political scientist who observed the UFO phenomena said he wasn't surprised at what he had seen. He had been studying the correlation between how many times President Trump said "Witch Hunt" and when Hillary Clinton had reemerged in public view. He said there was almost a one-to-one correlation. He surmises what Trump has been talking about all along is finding out who Hillary really is. Lately, Trump has been saying Witch Hunt almost non-stop.
Other UFO sightings also occurred in the Washington, D.C. suburbs last evening, surprisingly close to where Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner live. One observer, who wishes to remain anonymous, said he distinctly heard the UFO saying : "I'll get you my pretty, and that dog of a husband, too."
I really don't know what's happening in Washington, D.C., or who or what to believe, but, to be on the cautious side, keep an eye on the sky, don't let your children go out alone on Halloween, and safeguard your pumpkins.