Trump Hillbilly Pick May Win Ohio Senate Seat
Holy macaroni! J.D. Vance is a definite, maybe shoo-in for the U.S. Senate seat from Ohio. A venture capitalist, he has gained recognition through his book Hillbilly Elegy and Ron Howard's film production of the Vance book. Recently, he caught th…
Read full storyTory Voter will give them one last chance, for the seventh time
Brian Asshat, grammar nazi, and thrower of shoes has said, to no-ones great surprise, that he will be giving the Conservatives one last go. Near neighbour, Gary Johnson said 'Over Lockdown I got to know Brian a bit, I mean I was always throwing hi…
Read full storyMan Offers Unwanted Opinion, again
Welsh DJ Morgan Piers has offered an opinion that no one asked for, or even wanted. When asked what the best sauce for Chips was on his three-thirty show, the 57-year-old DJ with a far from clean history said 'I could go both ways. Sometimes I…
Read full storyPutin's Piano Playing
News has reached us that in his downtime from his attempts to be a real-life Bond Villian, evil Russian bloke Vladimir Putin is launching an album of restful piano playing. Taking his cue from the vast success of Enya, Putin's soft, pastel-shaded…
Read full storyMulti millionaires still playing Football, like it matters
Multi-millionaires are still kicking a football around a field, in the belief that doing so still matters. Footballer Hay Bales said 'Yeah, like, Man if the guys and me stop playing football, it has a massive impact on the world, I mean we are pai…
Read full storySarah Ferguson Writes A Blockbuster Tell-All Book On Queen Elizabeth (And The Q Is Pissed!)
MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - Sarah Ferguson, aka The Duchess of York recently sat down with Press Extra News Agency writer Voodoo Dupree at a pizza/hot dog kiosk in Lower Manhattan. Fergie, as her ex-husband, the predatorial royal, Andrew…
Read full storyThat thing you are doing, just stop it
Are you reading the Daily Mail? Just stop doing it. Are you going to say 'Great pic' about an out of focus photo on social media? Just stop doing it. Are you reading something about politics? Just stop doing it.. Are you writing to…
Read full storyThe Entire Republic of Mexico Hates Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, The Goofy-Looking GOP Shithead
MEXICO CITY, Mexico - (Satire News) - Mexico has made it abundantly clear that they are fed up with the childish, pathetic, dickhead antics of the worst governor in history, Gov. Greg "Shit Face" Abbott. A spokeswoman for the government of Mexico,…
Read full storyRepublican Sen. Madison Cawthorn Says Photos Showing Him Molesting a Male Flamingo Are Fake
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - GOP Trump ass-kisser, Madison Cawthorn has stated that all of the lies coming out about him will only make him stronger. The latest photos of Cawthorn allegedly show him at The Bronx Zoo, in the flamingo reserve,…
Read full storyThe Reason Why Marjorie Taylor Green Is Selling 41 of Her Size 38-D Bras On eBay
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene, says that even after Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has referred to her as a two-bagger, a wayward witch, an ugly-as-whale-shit bitch, and a cellulite-infested skank, she still cares abo…
Read full storyA Transgendered Woman Wins The Miss Mississippi Beauty Pageant
PASCAGOULA, Mississippi - (Satire News) - The Mississippi Beauty Pageant has made, as they say in Brooklyn, history. This year's beauty pageant featured 47 females and one transgender female, who as many in the audience said made the so called "Re…
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