From Rags To Riches: An Extremely Sexy McDonalds Employee Dates A Texas Oilman and He Gives Her a $16.7 Million Engagement Ring
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – All her life, Traci Ann Woodweather, the girl with the mesmerizing blue eyes, lived just a few notches above the poverty line. After graduating from Houston’s Jose Altuve High School, as The Girl Most Likely To Marry A Ve…
Read full storyMelania Trump Accidentally Reveals One Of Donald’s Many Weird and Sick Sex Fetishes
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) - The former first lady, Melania Trump, was sitting on the floor of her master bedroom, wearing a pink halter top, a pair of tight-fitting Daisy Duke short shorts, and a pair of expensive imported white, high back…
Read full storyDonald Trump’s Approval Rating Drops To a Pathetic 1.3%
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – According to the nation’s #1 opinion poll, Quinnipinni, the approval rating of simple citizen Donaldo Trump has fallen to a measley 1.3%. A Quinnipinni spokesperson stated that the former Nazi-in-Chief’s favorability has…
Read full storyOhio Man tries a hold-up using a lead paint detector
An Ohio man is in police custody after attempting to rob a Howdy Pard Convenience store using a lead paint detection device. Herm Myers, 29 of Stubenville, OH, was taken into custody by police early this morning. Officers responded just after 1:0…
Read full storyGermany Cancels Christmas Due To The Ongoing Trumpapalooza Pandemic
BERLIN, Germany – (Satire News) – Germany’s national news agency, Sieg Heil, has just informed the German people that they will be cancelling this year’s Christmas season. A reporter for Seig Heil noted that due to the Trumpapalooza virus, all Ger…
Read full storyA Huge Drone Crashes In Holland Causing Widespread Damage
TULIPLANDIA, Holland – (Satire News) – Holland’s Windmill News Agency reports that one of the largest drones in Europe crashed just outside of the ancient city of Tuliplandia. An eye witness reported seeing over 600,000 tulips totally destroyed.
Read full storyThe Grinch Who Is Trying To Steal An Election
It isn’t a banana republic, or a nation in the old Soviet Union, not one in the United Kingdom, Africa or the Middle East, but the democracy of the United States. Uh huh. As the late Colin Powell once said. "The United States may be the youngest…
Read full storyElon Musk Vows To Meet His Children if the UN Can Prove They Exist
Multi-billionaire Elon Musk is clapping back on Twitter again, this time to those who don’t think he knows who his own children are. Musk confidently tweeted on Thursday: “How about this- if the UN can show me concrete proof that I have children,…
Read full storyBezos-Musk, Inc., Announces They Will Build The Biggest Retail Shopping Mall In The World
LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) – The biggest corporation in the world, which is headed by multi-billionaires Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk has just stated that they will soon begin construction on what will be the biggest retail mall in the entire world.
Read full story