LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) – The biggest corporation in the world, which is headed by multi-billionaires Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk has just stated that they will soon begin construction on what will be the biggest retail mall in the entire world.
Bezos informed members of the news media that they have purchased 3,704 acres just north of Laredo, Texas, and construction on the 13-story, 900-plus store multi-complex will start on Thursday, January 6, 2022, at 6:15 am.
Musk then added that they hope to employ over 7,000 employees, many of whom will be citizens of Mexico, Guatemala, and Bolivia.
Some of the stores include Macy’s, Victoria’s Secret, Fiddle Faddle, Whataburger, Lollygag, Tarzan Condoms, The Enchanted Enchilada Mexican Restaurant, Senor Cuban Cigars, Viagra Village, and The Inebriated Hippo Lounge.
Jeff Bezos commented that the mall will also include a Nissan Auto Dealership, as well as an indoor ice skating rink that will make the one in New York City look like a broom closet.
This is truly amazing since the average summertime temperatures in Laredo easily hit in the 103 to 112 range.
SIDENOTE: The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that Bezos-Musk, Inc. is looking into purchasing the NFL New York Jets and relocating them to Laredo.