US Bridges Falling Down, Falling Down, Falling Down
President Joe Biden has introduced a $3 trillion infrastructure bill to rebuild the States' decaying infrastructure, including fixing bridges and roads. It's nice to be able to drive onto a bridge with a guarantee that you’ll make it to the other sid…
Read full storyMelania Trump Confesses That Without His Toupee and His Orange Mascara, Donaldo Looks Like He’s 91
Mar-A-Lago, Florida – (Satire News) – Now that she is no longer confined to the White House, the former “Be Best” woman has started to speak her mind more and more regarding her loser husband. Melania recently appeared on “The View” and she told W…
Read full storyA Pensacola Woman Swears That Her Gigantastic 44-DDDDDDD Tits Are 100% Real
PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – A woman, who resides in Pensacola, recently told Pensacola’s ABC Affiliate Channel 44, that her size 44-DDDDDDD tits are positively 100% natural. Hilda Brisquette, who is an unemployed prostitute told Channel 4…
Read full storyMcDonald’s In An Effort To Lure Employees Offers Them Free Uber Rides To and From Work Plus Free Unlimited Big Macs
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The dreaded Coronavirus shut down lots of businesses and now that most have reopened they are finding that they are having a hard time filling the positions; even at McDonalds. The corporate heads at Mickey D’s say that e…
Read full storyKristi Noem Chides Other GOP Governors at CPAC for Not Killing Enough People
Dallas - Governor Kristi Noem, who is considered by the Republican Party the poster child of how to run a state during a pandemic, complained about other Party of Trump governors in a speech before the CPAC conference here yesterday. Ms. Noem, who…
Read full storyBezos-Musk Inc. Wants To Buy Manchester United
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – The largest company in the entire world, Bezos-Musk, Inc., has just made an offer to purchase England’s most popular football team (soccer in the US), the Manchester United Red Devils. Jeff Bezos said that althoug…
Read full storyA Providence Pervert Flashes 6 Nuns – One of Them Bites His Tally Whacker Off
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – A well-know pervert, who has been hanging around the downtown area of Providence for years, finally met his match yesterday afternoon. The perv who is the city’s most prolific flasher was standing on Ives…
Read full storyA Donald Trump Rally In Detroit Draws 41 People, Including 9 Secret Service Agents
DETROIT – (Satire News) – Word coming of Trump’s mouth is that he is extremely upset at the horrible turnout at his Detroit 2024 Campaign Pep Rally, which was held in the Carburetor Coliseum, which seats 43,212. Trump has reportedly been told by h…
Read full storyNewsflash for New Agers: Trusting the universe is a bad idea
It seems the more we learn about our world and solar system, the worse the New Age movement looks. It’s commonly known that many modern-day seekers are inclined to believe in the goodness of The Universe and the importance of getting into the flow. T…
Read full storySOS from Jon Taffer and Bar Rescue
The timing was perfect. Jon Taffer, star of Bar Rescue, had just launched into his customary rant aimed at another fledgling proprietor when he got the surprise of his life. Rick Regan and crew entered the scene on behalf of Reality Fix to turn the t…
Read full storyParking Goddess missing; whereabouts unknown
A report filed yesterday by official NSA sources within the US Government included a rather unwelcome development for unassuming people that pray to the Parking Goddess. Maya Moskovitz has not been seen or heard from in almost 130 years. Ms. Moskovit…
Read full storyCasino will offer direct pay flat fee option to premium customers
Mel Stacksmiller, VP of New Business for the Darkstar Casino Group today announced a list of new “Elite Membership” packages to be made available in September at all their casinos. One of the most unique offerings is the top-of-the-line Platinum…
Read full storyA Member of The Swiss Weight Lifting Team Tests Positive For Crack Cocaine, Heroin, and Budweiser Beer
TOKYO – (Olympics Satire) – There is extreme disappointment, despair, and friggin' sadness in the dormitory building where the Swiss Olympic team is housed. Reports state that Switzerland’s top weight lifter, Leon Titbrunnen, was given a random dr…
Read full storyNude Photos of Donald Trump Surface In The Bronx – No One Views Them
THE BRONX, New York – (Satire News) – A member of Democrat turncoat Joe Manchin's staff, has reportedly received 87 naked photos of the former “Golfer-In-Chief,” Donald John Trump. The photos have been authenticated by the reputable authenticating…
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