TOKYO – (Olympics Satire) – There is extreme disappointment, despair, and friggin' sadness in the dormitory building where the Swiss Olympic team is housed.
Reports state that Switzerland’s top weight lifter, Leon Titbrunnen, was given a random drug test and he failed it miserably.
A Swiss team member, who said she did not want her name nor gender mentioned, divulged that Leon tested positive for 7 different illegal substances including crack cocaine, heroin, PCP (Phencyclidine) IUD (Inverunidiptosis), and Budweiser Beer.
The sad part is that Titbrunnen has two wives and a total of 16 kids ranging in ages from 3 to 18.
He has asked the Olympic Drug Testing Committee to retest him because he feels that it could have been a false reading; especially for PCP, which he did admit he hasn't taken in at least13 months.
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