Dog receives ballot for November election; holds news conference
Mr. Trump has announced that the Democrats are sinking to new lows by sending ballots to cats and dogs across the nation. Democrats have denied the charge, saying any case of a pet (dead or alive) receiving a ballot is a minor glitch in the voting…
Read full storyYogis Takes a Head Stand to End Police Brutality
Social justice activists were delighted by today's surprise announcement of the Yoga Alliance to join the growing social justice movement. According to Yoga Alliance President Shannon Roche, the Alliance will launch a new initiative in support of en…
Read full storyHarry Maguire Didn't Even Watch England On TV
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England defender, who was dropped by national team boss Gareth Southgate for the Three Lions' match in Iceland last night, has said that he was so frustrated and angry about the decision, that he didn't even b…
Read full storyCops Foil Lockdown Crime Wave
Police have foiled several hold-up attempts during the virus lockdown. “Robbers were confused,” said Chief Inspector Nickem. “We was confused,” admitted getaway driver Andy Wither-Jumplead. “It’s not fair,” complained Al Cumquietly. “We couldn’t…
Read full storyThe Kentucky Derby Favorite Comes in 2nd
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) – The 146th running of the most famous horse race in the world finally went off after months of delays. The normal crowd of 23,000 was reduced to 17, due to the Coronapalooza pandemic and the fact that ticket…
Read full storyFox on the run after nicking chicken!
(UNEDITED) Foxes, renowned for their sly and clever behavior, are beating poachers at their own game. A fox called, Father Fox, went out on his nocturnal hunt only to find local farm cats had nicked all the field mice and small mammals in his hunt…
Read full storyHoward Stern Says Eric and Donald Trump Jr., Are Spoiled Brat Punks For Shooting What Are Basically Petting Zoo Animals
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - Howard Stern has just expressed what tens of millions of civilized people have said about grown men who ambush animals. The shock jock said that these pantywaists like the Trump boys, Eric and Donnie Jr., think th…
Read full storyOne of Mexico's Greatest Bullfighters Swears He Caught (La) Coronavirus From Bull Spit
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Sports Satire) – Mexico’s La Palabra News has stated that one of the nation’s greatest matadors, Habanero Del Chipotle, says he's come down with the Coronavirus. La Coronavirus, as it is called in Mexico, until recently, had not…
Read full storyA 94-Year-Old Great Grandmother In North Dakota Caught With 283 Opioid Pills In Her Size 44-DDDD Bra
FARGO, North Dakota – (Satire News) – Local authorities informed the local CBS television affiliate that, acting on a tip, they apprehended an elderly woman in possession of a large amount of illegal opioids. The Fargo Police Department arrested 9…
Read full storyHumble taxi driver has solved a Biblical mystery - or has he?
A Bulgarian taxi driver has discovered the ruins of the legendary Tower of Babel. The gentleman was driving an Iranian national to his home in the north of Iran, when he spotted some loose gravel which was a different colour to the soil around i…
Read full storyMan Would Have Liked To Have Killed Woman In Book
A man reading a book became so hateful of one of its female characters, that he claims he would have liked to have killed her with his own bare hands, or, in a variety of other ways. The book in question, 'Une Page d'Amour', by Émile Zola, was bei…
Read full storyShoe Shop For People With One Foot Now Open
A shoe shop that caters exclusively for people with one leg, or rather, with one foot, has opened its doors to the general public, or rather, that section of the general public that has only one foot. The Landmine Footwear Emporium deals specific…
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