Yogis Takes a Head Stand to End Police Brutality

Funny story written by Amiko Aventurista

Sunday, 6 September 2020

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Yogis can't stand police abuse

Social justice activists were delighted by today's surprise announcement of the Yoga Alliance to join the growing social justice movement. According to Yoga Alliance President Shannon Roche, the Alliance will launch a new initiative in support of ending police abuse and promoting social justice. The initiative is called, Take A Head Stand Against Police Abuse.

"Taking a knee to protest is for beginners. We call that yoga pose, Ashva Sanchalanasana. Unlike sport figures who take a knee, we are going to stand on our head to symbolize oppression. Believe me, taking a head stand for the entire national anthem is oppressive. By taking a head stand we will feel the pain of a battered head, and, therefore, sympathize with victims beaten by abusive police officers."

Chris Paul, President of the NBA players union, welcomed Yoga Alliance's willingness to take a stand, albeit different from the usual. "Doing a head stand to protest never occurred to us, but I like it. Yoga Alliance is international, and their support brings attention to widespread police abuse to the world. I say Namaste to President Roche."

Speaking on behalf of the owners, Adam Sliver, NBA Commissioner, praised the Yoga Alliance. "The Alliance has thrown its mat in full support of social justice and ending police abuse. From what I'm told, yoga is all about the breath. When a yogi says, "breathe", and you can't because a criminal cop is standing on your neck for 8:46, it really brings meaning to the slogan, "I Can't Breathe!" he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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