LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) – The 146th running of the most famous horse race in the world finally went off after months of delays.
The normal crowd of 23,000 was reduced to 17, due to the Coronapalooza pandemic and the fact that ticket prices were outrageously priced at $12,000.
The favored horse Tiz The Law was upset by Authentic, a horse that many race fans consider to be the prettiest horse in the entire state of Kentucky.
Winning jockey Johnny "Chico" Velasquez was asked how he felt, and he replied, “I feels mucho good and mucho happy tu be dee weening shockey, tank ju tu mush.”
There was a bit of controversy when Winning Impression was clearly seen to have bitten Mr. Big News on the left ear at the halfway point.
And Storm The Court had some points taken off when a video replay showed him peeing as he rounded the first turn.
Sad to say two of the horses were scratched prior to the race. King Guillermo was scratched by the owner when he developed a very bad Charlie horse (no pun intended).
And Finnick The Fierce was scratched due to him coming down with a mild case of hoof and mouth disease.
SIDENOTE: Winning jockey Johnny Velasquez told reporters that he will not be going to Disneyland due to the rides height requirement.