Coronavirus Hopeful That New Strain Will Be Ready By March
Coronavirus bosses are currently working on 6 new strains of the virus but are hopeful, with careful testing, that one of them could be ready in the new year. The strains, currently being worked on by Covid-19, could be in the wider population as…
Read full storyHarmonica Player Ingests Wasp Through Instrument
A leading harmonica player died on Tuesday evening, while playing alone at home. Neighbours, who heard the incident at around 7:30pm, say the harpist, Ray 'Curious' Wilkins, was mid way through Bob Dylan's 'The Time's They Are a-Changing' when a s…
Read full storyThe Hallmark Movie Channel Has Just Filmed Its 500th Christmas-Themed Movie
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The Christmas holiday season may be over, but not for the Hallmark Movie Channel. Executives with the network have announced that they’ve just finished filming their 500th Christmas-themed movie. The film’s title is…
Read full storyMan who hasn't drunk since March now a lightweight
A man who hasn't drunk a drop of alcohol since March 14th, 2020 realises that he is now a complete lightweight. 'Yes,' said Stanley Bridgewater, 'time was, I could have sunk eight or nine pints in the pub, and not felt the worse for wear, but I on…
Read full storyGerman Woodchopper chops wood too far! OUCH!
(NOT EDITED) Preparation for freezing cold temperatures in German hillsides forces many German males to go outside and perform macho heroics like Cassius Clay once used to, hacking logs! However, there is one slight difference, Cassius chopped his lo…
Read full storyThe Clash Back Together Again - Without Any Of The Former Members
The Clash, the group who, along with the Sex Pistols, were largely responsible for the success of the Punk Rock movement in the UK in the late 1970s, are a 'going concern' once more, and are currently in the recording studio laying down tracks for a…
Read full storyUncle now recommended all of David Walliams Books on Amazon
After buying his nephew a book by Julia Donaldson for Christmas, Gary Johnson from Chutney on the Fritz has now been recommended all of David Walliams' books by the emporium of lax morals. 'Yes, I bought young Tewksbury the Gruffalo, as it is all…
Read full storyWhat are your new hobbies for 2021? Please tell us
So, we can all agree that 2020 was a pretty bad year, so with 2021 not looking to get much better for a while, here are a few ideas for hobbies and pastimes you could take up at home. 1) Baking. If you want to add a sense of jeopardy, have some po…
Read full storyMan learnt all of the words to Auld Lang Syne
Steven Heckingthwaite has learnt all of the words to Auld Lang Syne, even though he will see the new year in with Jools Holland. 'Yes,' said Steve on his website, 'I am usually one of those superior types who win the Pub Quiz by myself, so I thoug…
Read full storyDrones Deployed To Administer Coronavirus Vaccine
In a move described as 'madness' by detractors, drones have been fitted with syringes in an attempt to ramp up the Covid-19 vaccine rollout across the UK. The government, under increasing pressure to meet its own target of 16 billion shots per hou…
Read full storyCovid-19 To Be Cancelled After Twitter Outrage
Users of outrage generator Twitter are calling for Covid-19 to be cancelled, after its relentless attack on innocent people. An online petition from user Bixby193451 has gained a massive following in recent days, since being retweeted by three oth…
Read full storyPing Pong Voted World's Silliest Name In Sport
The International Federation Of Sport-Related After Dinner Speech Makers met for their annual awards ceremony. Various prestigious trophies are handed out to sports teams and stars alike, voted for by the assembled cream of the 'has-been' sports worl…
Read full storyMan Loses His Wife in a Poker Game
PRISTINA, Kosovo – (World Satire) – Pristina's TV Channel 88, reported that a neighborhood card game turned quite ugly. Four long-time friends were having their weekly poker game at the home of retired shepherd Fakulteti Ramadani. According to…
Read full storyWoman With 93 Cats Gets Rid of 2
GLASGOW, Scotland – (World Satire) – The Kilt News Agency has just reported that 101-year-old Bonnie Olivia Mugdock, who describes herself as "The Cat Lady”, was saddened after she gave away 2 of her 93 cats. Catty, as the neighborhood youngsters…
Read full storyTrump Says He Still Hasn't Played His Trump Card
Outgoing US president, Donald Trump, who has just 22 days left to his tenure in the White House, had a message for his opponents today, when he said that he hasn't yet played his Trump Card, and that he might just have an Ace up his sleeve. Trump,…
Read full storyRobert De Niro's CGI Likeness Sues Actor
The de-aged CGI likeness of Robert De Niro is suing the 77-year-old actor for copyright infringement of his likeness in hit movies such as 'The Godfather Part 2' and 'Raging Bull'. CGI De Niro appeared in Martin Scorcese's Netflix hit 'The Irishma…
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