The International Federation Of Sport-Related After Dinner Speech Makers met for their annual awards ceremony. Various prestigious trophies are handed out to sports teams and stars alike, voted for by the assembled cream of the 'has-been' sports world.
Held at the spacious Haven Hotel & Grill in Stoke Newington, the event sees top ex-sports stars descend on the main function room to talk loudly over each other, regaling themselves with tales of a time before they were overweight and out of breath just reaching for a biscuit.
The first award, given to the top male sports star, was handed over to hotly tipped Bill Clappy, gold medal winner in the walking quickly event at the 1932 Olympics. Ironically, the 103-year-old Clappy took nearly nine minutes walking to the stage to collect his trophy.
Other notable wins went to Sheena Goebbels for her stunning tennis performance, Dave Trance for swimming and Laura and Tina Chakmantieve for dancing around with ribbons on sticks a lot.
The biggest shock, however, came when Ping Pong was hailed World's Silliest Name In Sport. Curling had long been tipped for the win, but judges decided late on in the discussions that Ping Pong was just too silly to even consider anything else.
Disappointed fans of Curling argued that, in recent years, Ping Pong was actually better known by the name Table Tennis, as the sport tried to clean up its image. But this argument was quickly shot down when it was pointed out that Table Tennis was also known as Whiff-Whaff, so shut up or it'll get nominated again next year...