A man who hasn't drunk a drop of alcohol since March 14th, 2020 realises that he is now a complete lightweight.
'Yes,' said Stanley Bridgewater, 'time was, I could have sunk eight or nine pints in the pub, and not felt the worse for wear, but I only drink in company, so I don't drink at home, but I expect that my tolerance for the hard stuff will be like the average 14-year-old now.'
'Drinking is like dating,' said Stanley. 'You have to do it regularly to keep your enthusiasm for it. What I wouldn't give to share fleeting eye contact with an attractive stranger, with a pint in my hands, listening to a band ruining Crocodile Rock.'