Trump's Gaffe: Would, Wouldn't, or Woodenhead?
A usually calm Mike Pompeo was sweating. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, usually a verbal giant, was at a loss for words. The secretary of State and the Press Secretary sat impatiently in the outer lobby of the Oval Office, awaiting for the President to call...
Read full storyNew Tower Design Approved Following Grenfell Tragedy
Following the Grenfell tragedy, a new innovative tower block design has been approved unanimously by the Royal Institute of British Architects. Award winning Architect, Tim Wittering explained, "there is no void in this building through which air...
Read full storyBritish Woman Impaled on US Beach
A British woman was left in spasms of ecstasy on a beach at Seaside Heights in Ocean County, New Jersey, today when a freak accident caused an umbrella to impale her. Velvet Cunningham was innocently sunbathing in a two piece bikini when the beach...
Read full storyTrump Successfully Debriefed by KGB
Donald Trump has successfully been debriefed by his KGB handler, Vladimir Putin. Trump entered Helsinki today and managed to pass information on to Putin via a translator. In return Putin publicly laughed off any suggestions that he might have inf...
Read full storyTrumps Whistlestop Tour Spreads Norovirus
President Donald Trump's recent whistlestop tour of World Leaders is thought to have caused an outbreak of Norovirus in at least five countries to date. The President first visited unpopular Asian dictator Kim Jong-un and it was reported that he w...
Read full storySlim Everdingle Sits Down With Vladimir Putin After Helsinki
BILLINGSGATE POST: Intrepid crack reporter Slim Everdingle sits down with Vladimir Putin in an interview that captures the attention of millions of viewers throughout the World who are anxious to hear first hand what was said behind closed doors in...
Read full storyIndictments of 12 Russians = ham on rye plus gooseberry cream pie and deep chocolate latte
"A grand jury can indict a ham sandwich" has once again emerged to dominate American politics. Last Friday, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, acting for Mr. Mueller’s investigation, indicted twelve Russians as suspects in the Russian collusi...
Read full storyWhere are they now? The Millennium Bug or Y2K
Oh, those heady days of innocence as we partied in the streets with the clocks ticking down to doomsday at the end of 1999. All the computers in the world malfunctioned as simpleton computer programmers had represented four-digit years with only the final two digits — making the year 2000 indistinguishable from 1900. Power stations failed, leading to blackouts; communications, transport and na...
Read full story'Pussy Riot' At the Nutters Beach Club! день тридцать семь den' tridtsat' sem'!
We had our own 'Pussy Riot' last night at the Nutters Beach Club, Volga Olga, refused to accept drunken Russian police in her velvet-clad boudoir for a quickie! They only wanted to pay in rubles and she only accepts 'hard' currency! After our two eunuch, black and white bouncers, built like wardrobes, Ying and Yang, bounced them out of the establishment, peace returned. Pissed poet laureate, Si...
Read full storyPutin Doesn't Want Trump to Visit Any More Dictators
Helsinki, Finland After Trump and Putin met at the Helsinki Summit, the translator succumbed to a large bribe and revealed what was said in private between the dictator and the wannabe dictator. "At first Putin was nice to Trump, but then he got r...
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