Indictments of 12 Russians = ham on rye plus gooseberry cream pie and deep chocolate latte

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 17 July 2018

image for Indictments of 12 Russians = ham on rye plus gooseberry cream pie and deep chocolate latte
The "Rosenstein Lunch Special" is now widely available at restaurants across America

"A grand jury can indict a ham sandwich" has once again emerged to dominate American politics.

Last Friday, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, acting for Mr. Mueller’s investigation, indicted twelve Russians as suspects in the Russian collusion case regarding the 2016 election.

News reports suggest the indictments show new heights in application to the ham sandwich interpretation of how The Justice Department operates.

Possibly new breadths is more accurate than heights as to the weightiness and demonstrableness of this particular ham sandwich.

The plate is large—beyond servings at McDonalds in storied towers of beef and onion with draped yellow cheese plus acreage in accompanying fries.

The 12 Russian Security Agency personnel are not available, and nothing further can be said due to national security.

That is, so far no evidence has been presented or reasons for the allegations.

News analysis of this event indicates the beauty in gleaming pink ham across a footprint-sized slice of rye (with pickle and mustard) needs no further expansion.

Tummy rumbling, salivating, and moving directly into the feast has been automatic.

Mr. Putin however has invited prosecutors to go to Moscow to interrogate these suspects.

Mr. Trump has indicated this is a good idea.

Mr. Comey, Mr. Brennan, Mr. Anderson Cooper, and others have added condiments as to Mr. Trump’s performance with Mr. Putin.

“Disgraceful, treasonous, never seen anything like it, terrible, horrible" are some of the commentaries on this matter so far.

Another: "This Trump-Putin Summit puts off a stench such as might rise from San Francisco streets these days with its sidewalk bathroom problems.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Trump and Mr. Putin are busy examining issues of the moment that might benefit from cooperation between the two nations.

A perilous uncertainty in munitions related stock market matters is underway with a central, difficult question.

Is the world really in position at this time to wage peace?

Further, a recruitment drive for ham sandwich artistes and culinary genius continues in the environs of The Department of Justice, Washington, D.C.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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