Local Man Pranked By Wife Over Avatar Movie
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was viciously pranked by long suffering wife, Anne on Saturday night in their Hampshire home. The Shuttlecocks had been relaxing together, spending quality time by him writing a satirical internet satire article about sock kebabs, under an alias, whilst Anne watched the James Cameron blockbuster epic 'Avatar' in HD with surroundsound. During an idle moment, havi...
Read full storyMilkoholism "on rise" among young people
A disturbing new trend has come to light among the young people of Britain. This generation are self-described "milkoholics" - dependant on milk and drinking up to twelve times a day. Reuben Milner, 1 month, is a typical milkoholic. Speaking f...
Read full storySocks debate continues Military should rethink their priorities
The debate about socks continues. To wear them, or not to wear them. To match them or not to match them. To ignore them or not to ignore them. To sequin them or not to sequin them. I am sorry, but I really do not give a damn about socks. There are wars going on all over the world and I do not suppose the soldiers fighting in these wars give a damn about socks. Oh no! I stand correc...
Read full storyHow To Make The Perfect Chicken Sock Kebab
Most of the world's top chefs wear socks, which goes a long way towards explaining their success in Michelin star awards, but the secret to top chefery lies in knowing which socks to wear whilst preparing a specific dish. Today, we shall be concentrating on the perfect chicken "sock" kebab - so called, because the barbecued chicken is stuffed gratuitously into a pitta bread, like a foot in a so...
Read full storyMr Sheen Shines
US Heartthrob and actor Charlie Sheen has launched a brand new cleaning product which he hopes will help him 'clean up.' The troubled star of 'Two And A Half Men' spoke to a packed Press Conference today. I'm sick and tired of making headlines for all the wrong reasons and have decided to clean up my act in every way. I'm a handsome guy and very talented sure, but eventually, you have to s...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Steals Diamond-Studded Socks
Lindsay Lohan is yet again in hot water, this time for stealing a $2,000 pair of black diamond-studded silk socks from Kinesha's Diamond Studding Studio on Rodeo Drive. Kinesha DeJuan Washington is the owner of the upscale diamond studding store and...
Read full storyJackie Chan Opens Up His First Chinese Restaurant - The Sock & Roll Chinese Diner
VENICE BEACH - Jackie Chan, who is considered one of the greatest martial arts stuntmen of all time, has announced that he has gotten into the restaurant business. Chan said that after talking to his dear friend the recently-divorced Eva Longoria,...
Read full storyRicky Gervais Agrees To Be The Master of Ceremonies At Prince William and Kate Middleton's Wedding Reception
LONDON - It is being reported in several England publications that the sharp-tongued comedian Ricky Gervais has agreed to be the master of ceremonies at the upcoming April 29th Royal Wedding Reception for Prince William and Kate Middleton. Gervais...
Read full storyHow Lady Gaga's Grandfather, Lord GaGa, Made a Fortune
Lady GaGa has told her fans that her late grandfather had made a fortune in selling pills through his special magazines in the 1930's. "The pills were harmless enough. They actually had vitamins and minerals or, at least, some trce amounts." Bu...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse: Uncle Garth Died From Being in the Wrong Test Group!
According to Amy Winehouse, her favorite Uncle, Uncle Garth "who drunk like a fish"and "whom I cannot stand to be around", died from being in the wrong test group. Since she made the statement to several reporters and then promptly passed out, we...
Read full storyLiam Keeps Beady Eye On Album Sales
Shy and retiring Ex-Oasis singer Liam Gallagher told fans to be patient this week as his new band 'Beady Eye' released their debut album 'Different Gear,Still Speeding' this week. 'The Music Press made a big deal of our first single bombing but what the F**k Do They Know?' said Liam. ' They're a set of W*****s the F*****g lot of 'em. The B*****d B***bags haven't got a clue. I'm the best F*****g...
Read full storyLibyan School of Economics, once known as the LSE, London, announces a new course!
LSE, London: Strange things have been happening recently, the great and good, the chattering classes, have all decided en masse, that after 42 years, Colonel Gaddafi is a Dictator that should be sent to Coventry! In October 2009 at the governing...
Read full storyEensy Weensy Spider - written to attract younger readers to the Spoof.
In an effort to attract younger readers to The Spoof, one writer has come up with the idea of writing especially for the kiddies. The following is her first attempt and, hopefully, not her last. Eensy Weensy Spider Gets Stuck in the Water Spout A near tradegy struck the Spider family this afternoon when Eensy Weensy Spider did not return home at the designated time. His mom of "Won't...
Read full storyArsenal Huff And Puff But Blow It
Arsenal blew their chance to put real pressure on Manchester Utd at the top of the Premier League when they failed to beat Sunderland at the Emirates. On a day when Gunners' manager Arsene Wenger said he was obsessing about beating Sunderland, his...
Read full storyPompey & Plymouth Blunt Steel City Boys
"Hipray! Hipray! Hipray!" The cheers rang out from the two great naval dockyards after a double victory over the Blades and the Owls. In a fixture list twist, struggling Sheffield Utd travelled to a resurgent Portsmouth while Plymouth, in financia...
Read full storyGovernor Walker "HUNT down the Democrats"
Yes, Wisconsin's Republican governor, Scott Walker, has announced plans to abandon the "Arrest and Detain" orders, issued to police, in regards to the 14 Democrats, who have fled Wisconsin, to avoid voting for the ANTI- working class measures, which...
Read full storyLet's all write Beady Eye as BDI - Liam Gallagher will go Mental
Liam Gallagher's new brother-free band Beady Eye has now had their first gig and released their first single and album to mixed reviews. But it is the name of the reformed Oasis that I'm interested in. They could have carried on as Oasis - it's pretty much the same band with one (OK fairly important) member missing - but they decided to go for a new name and stop playing the old Oasis...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Newport Lifeguards to be Axed
Plans by the ruling Conservative Group at County Hall, to axe the lifeguard service in Newport, have been branded as negligent by the Independent Group of Councillors whose members represent seaside wards all over the Island. Average cost of one f...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Judges Seating Arrangement Gives Randy Jackson Hot Pants
"I know it's a family show and I'm doing my best to control myself," said Randy Jackson, after Thursday's American Idol live results show. "But the fact is, if they show this dawg one more video of J-Lo in those skin-tight cat suits while I'm sitting...
Read full storyMike Huckabee Finally Proves President Obama is Black and Muslim
The frustration is palpable now whenever Mike Huckabee is asked whether he really believes President Obama grew up in Kenya. While Huckabee originally retracted the statement saying he meant to say Indonesia, those closest to him say that he is uncom...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Falls off the Wagon
Police were called to Charlie Sheen's home again last night after neighbors reported hearing high-pitched screams coming from Sheen's yard. Upon arrival, officers found Sheen hanging halfway out of a child's wagon that he'd smashed into a fire hydran...
Read full storyHuckabee: "Obama's Mother Was an Anthropologist!"
In an interview on conservative talk radio yesterday, Mike Huckabee, potential candidate for the presidency, leaned in close to the microphone and said in a hushed tone, "I have it on good authority that Barack Obama's mother was an anthropologist!" Host: "NO" Huckabee: "Yes! It's hard to believe but it's true!" Host: Are you sure?" Huckabee: "And you know what they believe, don't yo...
Read full storyNo-Fly Zone Leaves Mosquitoes Vilified
TRIPOLI, LIB. - As the United Nations Organisation (UN) declares a No-Fly Zone over Libyan territory, Culiseta longiareolata, mosquito, has been attacked by homo sapien forces for appearing to look like a member of the Diptera (fly) family. "It's...
Read full storyET's : They're a strange bunch!
What looks very much like depictions of UFO's have been found on ancient cave drawings at several locations around the world. They were not put there by anyone who'd just seen a science fiction film about aliens at their local cinemas! That flying discs were darting around in the sky thousands of years ago ,and that they are still doing much the same thing today is use for great concern. What...
Read full storyAnother weeki leeks scoop
As air-miles Andy (Prinny to his intimate friends) makes yet another bad judgement call, his father admits the boy is just one great big mistake. Our weeki leeks palace mole heard his ancient pater comment that he wished he'd jumped off at Newbig...
Read full storyPrison Break In
Thieves have broken into a prison in New Zealand and stolen a large Plasma Television. Prison Governor, Howard Lash, spoke of the 'heartless disregard' for the welfare of the prisoners shown by the thieves. 'We shall be having an enquiry into this...
Read full storyGaddafi Changes Name to John Smith
Unhappy with the constant butchering of his name in the media, Muammar Al-Gaddafi, aka Moammar Gaddafi, Muammar Khaddafi, Moammar El-Gathafi, M. A. Kaddafy, El Cid, Pancho Villa, and Charlie Sheen today announced that he is changing his name to John...
Read full storyCeltic's Lennon Facing 3 Year Ban
Glasgow Celtic's manager Neil Lennon is facing a 146 game ban under a controversial new disciplinary procedure introduced by the SFA. The Irishman has just reluctantly accepted a revised 4 game ban for an offence committed earlier on this season,...
Read full storyAlex Salmond Urged To Get Tougher
Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond has been criticised for not doing more to tackle anti social behaviour during live coverage of first minister's questions on February 24th, 2011. Angry viewers from all over the country phoned in to the...
Read full storyInspectors Condemn Police Force's Cells
Government inspectors have condemned over 90% of West Midlands Police Force's cells,sources have claimed. 4,500 of the force's cell phones have been scheduled for immediate replacement as they are "totally inadequate for the needs of a 21st centur...
Read full storyStones Guitarist Disowns Daughter
Rolling Stones legend Keith Richards has formally disowned daughter Theodora after she was arrested for drug possession and drawing graffiti on the side of a convent in Lower Manhattan. By the time, I was Theodora's age, I'd been busted 7 times for drugs and had even done a stretch in the Scrubs - and it wasn't just for a couple of narco tabs , if you know what I mean. And as for getting li...
Read full storyThinner, More Absorbent iPad 2 Marketed Toward Thirty-Something Women
Apple CEO, Steve Jobs admits that the future of iPads lies squarely with females. "When it comes to thin, yet highly absorbent, women want it." Jobs is talking about the new iPad 2 design which is 33 percent thinner than the original iPad and is...
Read full storyHarley-Davidson Offers Line of "Boomer" Mobility Scooters and Accessories
Motorcycle giant Harley-Davidson knows a target market when they see it, and the Baby Boomer market is no exception. In fact, their new line of mobility scooters is aimed squarely at older bikers because "once a Harley lover, always a Harley lover."...
Read full storyThe Caretakers At The Alamo Hit With 17 Safety Violations
SAN ANTONIO - The Extremely Elderly Gals of The Republic of Texas, an organization made up mostly of blue-haired old ladies in their 70s, 80s, and 90s has been informed that their organization's landmark mission/fortress has been issued a total of 17...
Read full storyThe Latin Babes Feud Between Penelope Cruz and Eva Longoria Is Getting Very Nasty
HOLLYWOOD - Well it appears that the nicey-nicey relationship between Latina beauties Penelope Cruz and Eva Longoria has exploded and the two "Muchachas" have taken off the gloves. And what has caused the two actresses to start their badmouthing f...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth has commissiond Subo Fanatics to make her 'gift' for Royal Wedding
Queen Elizabeth has, apparently, contacted the American Subo Fanatics and has commissioned a 'very special' wedding gift to be hand-made for William and Kate. Queen Liz has been in touch the the head of the Quilters...yes...you read that correctly...
Read full storyChronic Knee Pain Causes the Queen to Give Up Horse Riding
The Queen has been forced to give up riding, her favourite pastime, because of chronic knee pain. The condition has also meant that she has had to have a £1million lift installed at her Sandringham home. Knee pain is a terrible burden for horses.
Read full storyObama Denounces Libyan Leadership
In his most strongly worded statement yet on the turmoil in North Africa president Obama made the position of the United States very clear today in a speech from the oval office to the press. The United States has finally come to terms with this situation and cannot sit idly by while so many innocent people suffer. We cannot continue to put up with More and More Grafitti. People have started...
Read full storySsh! It's to be kept a secret: Dame Helen Mirren to attend Royal Wedding...twist to story
The well kept Royal secret is no longer 'well kept'. Spoof Writer, Lady G. has been working undercover at the Palace as a lady-in- waiting (waiting for a 'scoop'). The 'scoop' came when she overheard Queen Elizabeth having a conversation with Philip. Philip wasn't really listening and looked totally bored, staring into space, hands behind his back, probably to keep himself from choking the old...
Read full storyMourinho stab-in-the-back attempt nothing new
Galicia, Spain - Anybody who'd ever worked for Roman Abramovich would know the feeling. After all, the man branded by Boavista coach Jaime Pacheco in 2007 as 'sick and mentally retarded' has to be a favorite of footie wackjobs. However last Fri...
Read full storyFootballer accused of drug taking had 'drunk another player's urine'
An unnamed Premiership football player has been cleared of using a 'specified substance' after a drug test, when he claimed that he had unknowingly ingested the drug in another player's urine. It seems that drinking a small quantity of urine is a...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth to visit Stephen Ireland
The Queen is to pay a state visit to Stephen Ireland - the first official visit to a footballers house by a British monarch. Buckingham Palace said in a statement: "The Queen has been pleased to accept an invitation from Newcastle United manager A...
Read full storyQueen's State Visit To Libya Announced
London - The government has responded to HM's heartfelt plea to see her bastard son Muammar one more time. Announcing a five day State Visit in the autumn 10 Downing Street sources said "WTF?" The vanity trip comes amid reports the Colonel is s...
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