The Latin Babes Feud Between Penelope Cruz and Eva Longoria Is Getting Very Nasty

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 5 March 2011


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Eva Longoria is so upset with Penelope Cruz that she has just named her new 'rescue' dog, Penelope.

HOLLYWOOD - Well it appears that the nicey-nicey relationship between Latina beauties Penelope Cruz and Eva Longoria has exploded and the two "Muchachas" have taken off the gloves.

And what has caused the two actresses to start their badmouthing feud? The answer is Eduardo Cruz.

Eduardo is the 26-year-old younger brother of Penelope and he has been dating Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria for the past two months ever since Eva's divorce from San Antonio Spurs guard Tony "El #9" Parker was finalized.

At first big sister Penelope was happy for her little brother because as he explained it he has always wanted to get it on with a Texas cougar and Eva certainly fills the bill.

Bedroom Pillow Talk reports that Eduardo has fallen hard for the "Cute Cougar" who is 35, or 9 years older than Penny's little hermanito (little brother).

El Cruz as his fans refer to the singer has had moderate success with comedic songs sung ala Weird Al Yankovic.

His first three hit songs were entitled "Have You Ever Noticed That You Have Never Seen A Fat Bullfighter?" "I Am The Lucky TSA Pat Down Inspector Who Patted Down Brooklyn Decker and Scarlett Johansson In The Same Friggin Day," and "How You Too Can Shoot Caribou From The Safety Of A Helicopter Just Like Sarah 'Crosshairs' Palin."

Penelope fired off the first salvo when she told Bedroom Pillow Talk that she knows that Longoria is just using Eddie as a 'rebound bedmate.'

Longoria fired back by saying that it was Eddie who made the first move by rubbing up against her famous shapely little caboose (butt) while at a Hollywood Hills party in honor of Paula Abdul and Kara DioGuardi.

Penelope then said that if Eva had been spending more time taking care of her Spurs husband Tony (Parker) instead of making all of those cosmetic commercials for Revlon, Maybelline, and Covergirl maybe he would not have had the time to text Erin Barry the wife of his ex-teammate Brent Barry and use all of those nasty and vulgar words like [FIVE EXPLETIVES DELETED].

Eva then said that Penelope needs to look in the mirror and see about getting her buck teeth fixed to which Penelope responded by saying that she would rather have buck teeth that buck boobs.

Longoria remarked that at least she has boobs and Penelope remarked that her's might not be as big as Eva's but at least they match.

Poor Eduardo is caught between a rock and a hard place or in this case between Penelope (his sister) and Eva (his cougar).

In a non-related story. Japanese Fisherman off the coast of Miyazaki have reportedly caught a goldfish that is the size of a Kia Sorento. They are presently trying to find a big enough goldfish bowl to hold the sucker.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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