Lindsay Lohan Steals Diamond-Studded Socks

Funny story written by Charpa93

Saturday, 5 March 2011

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Lindsay Lohan Special Crime Unit

Lindsay Lohan is yet again in hot water, this time for stealing a $2,000 pair of black diamond-studded silk socks from Kinesha's Diamond Studding Studio on Rodeo Drive. Kinesha DeJuan Washington is the owner of the upscale diamond studding store and says she is distraught over the theft of the socks.

"Those socks were very special," said Kinesha. "They were ordered by Michael Jackson along with a matching pair of diamond-studded garters just before he left this world, and now that we know it was Lindsay Lohan who stole them, we're sure we'll never see them again." Washington said that, thankfully, Lohan only stole the socks and left the garters behind.

Police detectives searched Lohan's home but, as Kinesha predicted, the socks could not be found. However, a search of Lohan's bedroom turned up various items of jewelry that still had the tags on them and, when run against a missing items list, several were reported stolen. Lohan was immediately taken into custody but released twenty minutes later on her on recognizance.

Lohan was asked by police to explain the stolen items to which she replied, "Some people collect stuff like tea sets, dolls, even antiques. I collect stolen jewelry. Is that such a crime?" Evidently in Lohan's case, it takes a lot more than stolen socks to keep her in jail.

Meanwhile, Ms. Washington wanted to take the opportunity to invite everyone who seees this story to come on down to Kinesha's Diamond Studding Studio for 20% off all their diamond studding needs. From diamond tooth studs to bulk chip diamonds for that special someone's vajazzling, Kinesha's is your one-stop diamond-studding emporium.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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