Stones Guitarist Disowns Daughter

Written by grimbo

Saturday, 5 March 2011

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Rolling Stones legend Keith Richards has formally disowned daughter Theodora after she was arrested for drug possession and drawing graffiti on the side of a convent in Lower Manhattan.

By the time, I was Theodora's age, I'd been busted 7 times for drugs and had even done a stretch in the Scrubs - and it wasn't just for a couple of narco tabs , if you know what I mean.

And as for getting lifted for being in possession of a dry marker and a couple of crayons, come on, what's the kids of today doing with their lives ?

If you're going to get picked up by the fuzz, at least make sure its for something heavy duty.

I'm ashamed to admit it but Theodora's been a big disappointment to me and I take no pleasure in cutting off all ties with her.

She's got a lot to do if she ever wants me to call her 'daughter' again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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