Kim Jung Il Put To Rest In Shaquille O'Neal's Size 24 "Shaq Attaq" Shoe Box
PYONGYANG - With wailing countrymen pulling out their hair and sobbing uncontrollably, deceased North Korea President Kim Jung Il was lowered into his grave enclosed in a size 24 Reebok Instapump "Shaq Attaq" shoe box endorsed by NBA hall-of-famer, S...
Read full storyThe Greatest Awards In The World Ever
Here at Back and to the Left news we have what our psychologists have called "A overinflated opinion of ourselves and our worth to humankind". Which we always took as a compliment. So because were such a wildly read news team we decided to give out our own awards based on what was great and what was shite throughout the year. We have called them The Greatest Awards In The World Ever! Granted it's...
Read full storyMore evolution hocus pocus!
Fans of stupid theories are once again celebrating as the cult of 'evolution' spews up its latest discoveries, which as always defy actual science. 'Scientists', their description not mine, from Scotland are pleased to announce the discovery in Sc...
Read full storyJim Carrey, 49, Finds Love and A Male Ego Booster In His New 23-Year-Old Russian Student Girlfriend
NEW YORK CITY - No matter what he may say to the contrary Jim Carrey is still extremely devastated at having been dumped by the fantastically gorgeous Jenny McCarthy. Funnyman Carrey has said that Jenny did him a favor by breaking up with him. Oka...
Read full storyOut of shape Newt Gingrich falling behind in presidental race
Washington--An out of shape Newt Gingrich is slowly falling behind in the race for the White House because is out of shape. An out of breath Gingrich tried to speak to reporters today, but struggled because he was out of breath. His spokesman did...
Read full storyModern Physics is Simply Made Up
Almost all of modern physics is simply wrong says a new UK government report written by top academics. They argue that about a hundred years ago physics took a wrong turn and has consequently had to invent more and more bizarre theories to keep the s...
Read full storyWWIII avoided for now
WASHINGTON DC - The President has calmed the Chinese military who had been ready to attack the United States, as previously reported Our mole in the White House communications room has intercepted this diplomatic communication, addressed to the Ch...
Read full storyPosh Bloke Picks Fight With Dork Writers In Dorking Pub
Breaking news appears to suggest that a posh bloke became involved in an argument with one of the writers of the 'must have' Christmas book, The Dorking Review, in a pub. In Dorking. Today. According to onlookers, the posh bloke became irate when...
Read full storyTop University to Close Down
The self styled "top" University of Buckingham is to close its doors for the very final time at Easter 2012. Vice Chancellor and general know-it-all Dr Terence Kealey explained: "We've been quietly ripping idiot folk off for years but now that r...
Read full storyAnti-Matter Matters
The chief Scientific advisor to the Government has attacked the notion spread by some Tory Back benchers that Anti-Matter doesn't matter. In a statement from his laboratory deep beneath the earth Prof Augustus Sink argued that 'Anti-Matter defini...
Read full storyKop cop it again
Kenny Dalglish has been delighted with the recent form of Luis Suarez this year. "He is racking up game bans like no one else - its been really superb - it gives the whole squad a lift to know he wont be playing". Dalglish and his players plan to war...
Read full storyBrand and Perry in Xmas News Splash
Russell Brand and Katy Perry have made a joint assault on the nation's press pages during the news lull that traditionally last betwixt the Boxing day sales and New Year's drunkenness stories. Basically they haven't been getting enough. Publicity.
Read full storyDorking Rolls Out The Red Carpet For Writers Of The Dorking Review
It has been described as 'the book that everybody should have in their Christmas stocking' - The Dorking Review. And Dorking today rolled out the red carpet as the book's writers rolled up in the town for an impromptu book signing at Waterfall's book...
Read full storyShock New Year Message for Cameron
In a message to the Prime Minister members of a shadowy group thought to run the UK have produced a shock for Cameron that has him worried. 'After your success in selling ropey 2nd hand cars, such as the Pickles and the Osborne Convertible, we are...
Read full storyBoko Harem to bring out new CD
Terrorist organisation Boko Harem today admitted defeat at the hands of 1970' pop group sensation Procul Harem. In a letter to Gary Brooker, songwriter from the original chart-topping pop group, Mustapha Wierdbeard, PR officer from the terrorist o...
Read full storyFrench company admits problems with breast implants
The French company behind the alleged problems with breast implants has today admitted that there is indeed a problem. Letitia Brest, a spokesperson, for the manufacturers Nousavonslestittes, went on national television in France to apologise and...
Read full storyWoman claims 'alien autopsy' studio offered her free breast implant removal
London - "Well, it's a lot closer to the Isle of Dogs than bloomin' Venezuela," was an octogenarian London pensioner's explanation in accepting the free, radical op. Today the offer from a London film studio where the infamous 1995 'alien autopsy'...
Read full storyRooney 'Can't Wait' To Play In The Europa League
Wayne Rooney put a positive spin on Manchester United's exit from the Champions League telling the waiting press pack he 'can't wait' to play in the Europa League. "Yeah, it's great, I've never played on a Thursday night before - well exciting - when...
Read full storySinead O'Connor Mimics Kim Kardashian, Dumps Husband after 16 Days
Former trailblazing, pissed off but still bald, pop protest singer, Sinead O'Connor, announced a separation from her husband after just two weeks and two days of marriage. The controversial 80's ballad queen was the toast of Ireland and the world...
Read full storyMoby Dick capsizes anti-whaling boat!
An anti-whaling boat has been capsized by a giant wave in the Southern Ocean, it was chasing Japanese whalers out on their annual slaughter. The incident happened as a giant white whale called Moby Dick, was being hunted by a Japanese whaler who's...
Read full storyHistorical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - The Old Trolley bus route to Bulwell
Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham Our local historian, guide, and pensioner takes you along the route, describing what he sees now, and what was there in his youth and before. The comparisons depict the changing face of life for Nottinghomians. Along the Old Trolleybus 43 route, City Centre to Bulwell. We begin where the old 43 trolleybus stop was situated in the City Centre Slab Squar...
Read full storyTwitter Sells Big Stake in Company to Leprechaun; Birdies Squawk
They says it's not because of any kind of prejudice against the Irish, but Twitter birdies are most upset with the new financial backer of the company. In an exclusive interview with spoof reporter Gail Farrelly, the birds explained their reaso...
Read full story"Former Uni Students Should Be Prevented From Making TV Comedy" Says Local Man
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock last night declared that former university students should be banned to hell and back from ever making light entertainment TV programmes, legally banned from making sit-coms, ruled out of making sketch shows, and threate...
Read full storyThe United States To Do Away With The Food Stamp Program
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After a year-long undercover investigation that has uncovered thousands of unethical and illegal practices and schemes attributed to the current Food Stamp Program, President Obama has issued a presidential directive eliminating th...
Read full storyDuke Star Austin Rivers: Dire Risk for a Dollar
Meet Chapel Hill resident Jason Barbera, squatting in his booth at the Dreyfuss Diner. We asked this passionate Duke fan what he thought of the cuisine at the local hotspot. "The half frozen, watery jambalaya tastes like tinned fish," he said, som...
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