Race Swimmers Thrash Like The Clappers As Sharks Close In
Sydney Australia - Competitors in a long distance swimming race were prompted to several 'Personal Bests', not by the exhortations of their trainers, but by several sharks closing in on them. There have been a number of reported shark attacks this...
Read full storyGorgeous Models Riot In New York City
MANHATTAN - Hundreds of young women waiting in line to audition for the reality show "America's Next Top Model" suddenly turned into an uncontrolled mob, a good looking mob, but a mob nonetheless. Twenty-three year old, Tiffany Laganetti who lives...
Read full story"America's Next Top Model" audition "Face-Off" leads to arrests
New York, New York - "We all do the super model face-off [like a staring contest] thing," said Trisha, an aspiring female model that was at the audition when the fisticuffs breakout between contestants. "When suddenly these two girls really got into...
Read full storyStephen Hawking To Hold Audition For New Voice
Stephen Hawking is to hold auditions to find a new voice. After years with his current voice it is thought that the physicist has become bored and now plans to change his voice every 18 months. He has made fewer breakthroughs in recent years so he...
Read full storyWayne Rooney in "hate" outburst (part 2)
The hastily convened press conference in which Wayne Rooney was supposed to prove to the world that he does not "hate" rice, descended into farce earlier today in Valencia, Spain. In front of a throng of reporters and photographers from around th...
Read full storyAn explanation of soccerball
Howdy, folks, I'm Randy. And my name is Jed. I'm here to introduce y'all to that sport they play in foreign countries, soccerball. Here in the good old USA it's a sport for women and children, but in Europe it's played by men! But before you go thinking it's a sport for sissies, they don't wear any body armour or padding at all. These guys are tough. Soccerball has quite a few differences from...
Read full storyChef Ramsay causes America to stop using first names
Reports have come into The Spoof suggesting that a significant number of Americans are eschewing first names in favour of occupations in an attempt to make themselves and others sound more professional. This movement apparently comes thanks to the ar...
Read full storyWeb 2.1 released
The Internet Update Company (IUC) have announced that Web 2.1 is ready to be released. The bespectacled nerdy president of the company, Bill Doors, explained the new technology and the its planned roll-out. He told us: "First we had the Internet,...
Read full storySatan Hires Max Clifford
Sources close to the Prince of Darkness have suggested that he may be about to hire the publicist Max Clifford. Satan is thought to be very impressed with Clifford's work with Jade Goody. The once nationally vilified Big Brother is now adored by peop...
Read full storyJade Goody News: Jade To Seek Media Injunction
Terminally-ill Jade Goody-Tweedy has had enough - and she's now taking out a Media Injunction to prove it! Jade, the ex-Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother housemate, has been the subject of many millions of despicable and derogatory articles in...
Read full storyLarkrise to Candleford - New Tarantino Film
Cutting edge film geek Quentin Tarantino has revealed that his new film is to be a radical re-working of Flora Thompson's smash hit novel - Lark Rise to Candleford. The story, which focuses on the smorgasbord of entertainment to be found in a Post...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan seen driving around Beverly Hills in a White Ford Bronco, taunting Police to arrest her
Beverly Hills, California - The Beverly Hills police department announced today that they have no intentions of carrying out a warrant for Lindsay Lohan's arrest. The warrant was issued on Friday after she failed to appear at her court ordered rehab...
Read full storyBlack armbands worn by BBC Scotland sports presenters
After Celtic's victory in the Scottish League Cup Final against arch-rivals Rangers, BBC Scotland presenters were today wearing black armbands, in a fitting tribute to the tragedy. Speaking from Glasgow, presenter Dougie Boynolly said: 'We are int...
Read full storyTina Fey to Run for President in 2012 Palin to be her Vice President!
Anchorage - Amid accusations from the John McCain campaign, challenging her intelligence, Tina Fey has come to Sarah Palin's defense, "You know in all the years I've made fun of other people in comedy, I've enjoyed making fun of Sarah the most of any...
Read full storyMadonna Sues Over Botched Landing Strip
LOS ANGELES, CA - Madonna is suing the Vajayjay Bikini Waxing Salon claiming that her botched Brazilian waxing has caused so much pain and suffering, she may have to go back to A-Roid. According to the complaint, Madonna requested a Brazilian wax...
Read full storyBrown and Balls: "Top Criminals to be fast tracked into teaching careers". Market farces continue to prevail!
Consternation in the UK as Gordon Brown and Ed Balls announce that the current one year Post Graduate Course in Education could be cut to six months in order to recruit an army of unfortunate, former, city of London, financial weasels. "Funny mo...
Read full storyJade Goody News: Spoof Critics Attacked By Other Spoof Critics
There was a further twist in the Jade Goody Saga today, as writers on a satirical news website 'crossed swords' over, what it is claimed has been, a relentless invasion of the ex-Big Brother housemate's private life, and severe case of defamation of...
Read full storyBattlestar Galactica may save Jade Goody!
It has emerged today that British television superstar and glamour icon Jade Goody may be cured as a result of a procedure loosely based on the resurrection abilities of the villainous robotic race on outgoing American sci-fi series Battlestar Galact...
Read full storyProvisional IRA give The Spoof 30 minutes to leave the internet
To mark St. Patrick's Day, in a coded message the Provisional IRA - not to be confused with the Real IRA, Continuity IRA, Official IRA, or Drugdealing Hoodlum IRA - gave a warning to The Spoof, a satirical website that has already brought down one Pr...
Read full storyBill Gates buys exclusive rights to usage of famous saying
Computer software giant and inventor of Windows, Bill Gates, has purchased exclusive rights to the usage of a famous saying. During the American version of Comic Relief, which is called "Relief from Georgebush", he paid almost $2 billion to take o...
Read full storyNew Bin Laden cartoon opens on NBC
A new cartoon was shown today on American TV network NBC, 'Bin Laden the Cartoon Villain and his Wacky Faces'. In the children's program, every episode begins with a tall Arabic man with a ridiculously long beard ranting and raving about America a...
Read full storyGoody accountants livid at Princess Diana Memorial Fountain setback
London - (Reality TV Ass Mess): The cancellation of a £10 million upgrade of the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain into the Jade Goody Water Beacon has unleashed a torrent of bile among the reality tv contestant's accountants. The Hype Park water...
Read full storyQueen's toilet retires after 50 years' service
The British Royal Family's principal toilet in Buckingham Palace has announced its retirement after 50 years'service. In a career that has seen an unparalelled number of royal bottoms and flushed away countless tons of regal turds. The toilet said...
Read full storyObama Administration to Teach Americans How to Panic
The Obama administration today promised that by the time 2012 comes around Americans will not only know how to panic but will have good reason to. The promise comes just days after President Obama said that he was "dissatisfied" with the reaction to...
Read full storyObama intelligence pick slams Madoff bankrolling of Iraq WMD fantasy factory
Washington AC/DC - (Notorious Mess): The Bernard Madoff Ponzi probe took a new twist this weekend with the sudden and abrupt resignation of President Obama's new National Intelligence Council pick Charles Freeman. The former US envoy to Saudi Arab...
Read full storyBernie Madoff In Isolation after Threats He Would be "Stuffed" Circulate Prison Yard!
Guantanamo Bay/ Federal Economic Detainee News - A shaken Bernie Madoff, FINALLY placed in Federal Custody, was removed to isolation in this Cuban Federal Penal Colony after sexual threats from Bankrupt Inmates said they were planning to have him Stu...
Read full storyHigh School Equipment Manager Collects Towels in Record Time
David "Flash" Bryzynski set a school record for equipment managers when he collected the Hamilton High Grizzlies basketball team's towels in a record three minutes and fifty seven seconds, shattering the old record of 4:07. Bryzynski, a juni...
Read full storyArrest Warrant Out for Lindsay Lohan: Is this THE END?
Beverly Hills, California/ Psychology Today/ Celebrity Profile - An Arrest Warrant was issued today for a sexually confused Lindsay Lohan by a Beverly Hills judge on unspecified charges, that could send the Muff Diving Diva back to jail for up to 3 y...
Read full storyComic Relief Results In
It was the Comedy Night of the Year, when comedians from all over Britain came together in the name of charity - in this case Comic Relief - to instil within the viewing public, a sense of collective guilt, of shame, and of the need to offload their...
Read full storyShetty "Drops Everything" To Rush To Jade Goody's Side
With fading celebrity Jade Goody said to be 'hours from death' the world's most beautiful woman, Shilpa Shetty, who once had an argument with the stricken reality star over a chicken stock cube, was said to be 'rushing to her side' to say goodbye yes...
Read full storyWayne Rooney In Call For Ferguson Sacking
Manchester United 1 Liverpool 4 - Wayne Rooney, the outspoken Manchester United and England striker, caused more controversy last night when, after his team's crushing defeat to arch-rivals Liverpool, he is rumoured to have called for the sacking of...
Read full storyFina outlaws same suit swimming
BEIJING, China - Fina, the worldwide swimming dictatorship council, has ruled that the Peedumsiem ZRLIEN racer may not be worn. The suit caused much controversy when 79 swimmers were wearing one suit. "We feel it hampers form, to have 79 swimme...
Read full storyBurned diners bring syrup to diners
CHANDLER, AZ - Pancake serving restaurants in this town are seeing an interesting phenomenon, according to waitress Othien Antspien of the IllagePien Nnien here. Othien reports that customers are bringing their own syrup and asking if it is alright t...
Read full storyBnai B'rith Protests Anti Semitic Jew Jew Beads
Candymaker, Florida Olde Farts has made a killing for decades with their Jujube beads. The hard as rock near tasteless candy for some unknown reason is a movie theater treat that can't be beat. Film buffs have been gnawing, chewing and jawing on thes...
Read full storyMeg McCain: Coulter Dyes Her Pussy Pillow
John McCain's daughter Meghan seems to have inheriteed dad's Irish thirst for fight. The pugnacious Republican blogger Meg McCain ,a 24 year old blonde beauty with a forty inch bust and the vocabulary of a middle schooler has chosen to go after vicio...
Read full storyGuantanamo Inmates Now "Best Friends Forever"
Guantánamo Bay-Guantanamo Inmates are no longer "Enemy combatants", but are now to be called, "Best Friends Forever". In an abrupt about face from anything resembling reality, The Obama administration has begun referring to the most dangerous people...
Read full storyScientists Discover New, Spineless, Slimy Sub-species - The 'Bernie Madoffulus'
Parasite Scientists recently identified a whole new sub-species of creature now recognized as having a large presence in our world. The sub species is identified as being a mollusk-like, slimy, backbone-less parasite that has been given the nam...
Read full storyRob Pattinson Kidnapped By Back Up Team
Following hot on the heels of teen queens Vanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song's neon lit abduction (unopposed) tonight on Hollywood Boulevard this evening, disturbing news has reached us that top heart-throb Rob Pattinson has also been abducted following...
Read full storyLocal Councils to use Premier League pitches as rubbish tips
We all know that the nation faces a rubbish problem. Landfills are at capacity and the amount of rubbish we all produce is at an all time high. But 2 local councils have got creative and may have solved the problem. Viewers of tonight's MOTD and the...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens And Brenda Song Kidnapped By Pirates - Rob Pattinson Too; Panic In Hollywood
In the 'Oh my GOD!' with hand covering mouth stakes, it doesn't come much more 'Oh my GOD!' than this. This evening, teen queens Vanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song were abducted in broad lamplight by a pirate raiding party on Hollywood Boulevard, in...
Read full storyDavid Beckham sues MOTD for unauthorised use of his voice
It was really him. Wasn't it? Fans did a double take tonight as the voice of the World's Football Saviour, David Beckham came emanating out of their TV's. The problem? While it was certainly David Beckham's voice, it certainly was not David Beckham s...
Read full storyViewers complain at guest appearance by a celebrity on Comic Relief
The BBC last night received tens of thousands of complaints that a celebrity had appeared on their annual Comic Relief fundraising event. It seems that at approximately 10pm, not long after the news was broadcast, a celebrity who was not a member...
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