Reports have come into The Spoof suggesting that a significant number of Americans are eschewing first names in favour of occupations in an attempt to make themselves and others sound more professional. This movement apparently comes thanks to the arrival into the US of Chef "Gordon" Ramsay, who has encouraged the use of job titles that has only ever otherwise been reversed for the President.
"It's true!" says known Alchemist Rory Benjamin. "It used to be just President Reagan, President Bush and so on. But now, it's Chef Ramsay, Techie Gates and Golfer Woods. It's a weird situation."
America is set for the onslaught of the change and people are naturally accepting and taking on the change, in the same way people accepted Gonorrhea as a way of life, and George Michael's 80s hairstyle. Stationery orders are said to have already increased 2500% and bizarre sexual crime is said to have dropped quite significantly.
Ramsay himself was unavailable for comment but we're pretty sure he's fairly k*****j happy.
This is Paper-macheer Lowton - out!