"America's Next Top Model" audition "Face-Off" leads to arrests

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Sunday, 15 March 2009

image for "America's Next Top Model" audition "Face-Off" leads to arrests
"America's Next Top Model" Face-Off leads to arrests in New York. Where's Zoo Lander when you need him?

New York, New York - "We all do the super model face-off [like a staring contest] thing," said Trisha, an aspiring female model that was at the audition when the fisticuffs breakout between contestants. "When suddenly these two girls really got into it. I mean neither one would back down. They just stood there for hours on the sidewalk staring at each other. Not blinking an eye or eyelash."

Only the two models stood blocking the entrance of the building where the CW series "America's Next Top Model" was conducting its tryouts for the new season, not allowing each other or any other of the models to pass.

"We all knew it was just between those two," continued Trisha. "But we all have places to go, people to see - Not really. We're trained to say that to every one so they think we're busy and got modeling jobs."

Over the course of several hours, however, other auditioning models were drawn into the super model face-off and soon the motionless conflict spread to all the models standing on the sidewalk.

"We had to make some arrests," said New York police Captain John Parmenter. "They we're blocking the sidewalk, causing pedestrians to walk into traffic to get around them and being a public nuisance by attracting pigeons."

As police carried off the models that were remarkably rigidly stiff as a board, stacking them horizontally on top of each other like plywood in the back of police cars and vans, the models surprisingly never moved or even spoke a word. Not even to complain about their treatment.

"It was a lot like arresting a mannequin, I imagine," said Capt. Parmenter. "Except for when my men were reading them [the models] their Miranda Rights, telling them they had the right to remain silent, they knew they had no idea what they were talking about."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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