Scientists Discover New, Spineless, Slimy Sub-species - The 'Bernie Madoffulus'

Funny story written by rfreed

Sunday, 15 March 2009

image for Scientists Discover New, Spineless, Slimy Sub-species - The 'Bernie Madoffulus'
The Newly Discovered 'Berni Madoffulus' Parasite.

Parasite Scientists recently identified a whole new sub-species of creature now recognized as having a large presence in our world.

The sub species is identified as being a mollusk-like, slimy, backbone-less parasite that has been given the name 'financialus succubus' and denotes any of a number of vampiric entities that have evolved lately and live off people in economic difficulties. They are a low form of life whose existence has been evidenced by advertisements stating 'You can make money from the recession' or 'How to get your share of the bailout money'.

These creatures are also willing to take money from people already deep in debt by offering to 'refinance their mortgages' and to 'rebalance their bad credit ratings'. Investigating scientists have found that the various 'financialus succubus' found resemble humans outwardly, but inwardly have no sign of conscience or decency whatsoever and can only survive by economically cannibalizing other human beings.

The largest of the sub-species, the 'Bernie Madoffulus' is known to have consumed unbelievable amounts of his victims resources. Although the 'Bernie Madoffulus' is the largest of the mollusks discovered, scientists argue where it is higher or lower on the evolutionary scale than the other slimy parasites.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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