Hull City - Top SKY TV Pundits Predict a Season of Surprises for the Tigers in the Premier League
The spotlight of national media attention has never been so intensely focused upon the city of Hull since the Tigers achieved Premier League status for the first time in their history at Wembley Stadium just a fortnight ago.
Read full storyRadders Gets A Restraining Order Against Me, Can't Think Why!
I have hid in bushs, I have traced him for miles, I have followed him around the globe attending every play and every premier and I have mailed him my panties everyday since my eleventh birthday. Yet this is how he repay me, he has finally taken out a restraining order against me!...
Read full story"Big Brown" takes a dump at the Belmont Stakes after losing "Hooters" sponsorship
New York, New York - Evidently, the loss of Hooters as a sponsor just before the race had a larger impact on the horse than anyone anticipated as Big Brown, winner of the Kentucky Derby and Preakness field, finished the Belmont Stakes in last place y...
Read full storyAir Conditioner Saves Relationship
(New York) West Side resident Glen Fisher decided to break up with his longtime girlfriend this weekend, but with the record heat wave that's currently gripping the city, the thought of leaving her air-conditioned apartment is making him rethink...
Read full storyGrandpa Ganja On Traffic
Look, the traffic problem is getting out of hand and something needs to be done about it. The time for talk is long past; it's time for action. Since no one else is doing anything about it, I've decided to fix it myself. So what is the problem? Easy. There are too many cars on too few freeways. It's that simple. Even public officials can understand it if they really concentrate. Solution?...
Read full storyTop Ten Worst Movies Ever Made
Here is the unofficial list of the top ten worst movies ever made. Take heed of this list for had I known, I wouldn't have bothered watching this shit in the first place.
Read full storyPresident Bush's daily schedule released
Ever wondered what an average day in the life of the president is like? Well, thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, we get our first look inside the life of a President.
Read full storyEngland declares War on Scotland!
England has tonight officially declared war on Scotland. Her "Old Foe" has responded by closing the borders.
Read full storyHomes Built On ICBM Silo
"I asked if there was a basement," exclaimed Darby Janken as he glanced toward his new home. "they told me the Air Force had deactivated this site years ago."...
Read full storyHamilton Accused of Being Grand Prix Cheat!
Officials are investigating Grand Prix driver, Lewis Hamilton, and Mclaren following complaints that Hamilton cheated in order to gain pole position for the Montreal Grand Prix.
Read full storyJuly 4th Fireworks Banned To Prevent Global Warming
Philadelphia PA - The City of Brotherly Love has abandoned its traditional Independence Day fireworks. The city will screen Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth' for the public instead.
Read full storyWarren Jeffs vindicated as arson destroys Texas governor's mansion
Utah State Prison, Utah - (Incandescent Mess): "The Lord has heard my cry and has smitten mine enemy with his bolts of fire!"...
Read full storyTown in South Yorkshire scoops "World's Uglisest Populace" award
Askern, a town in South Yorkshire, in the metropolitan borough of Doncaster has put itself on the world map by winning the "Ugliest Population in the World" Award.
Read full storyPortugal Banned from the European Cup
Portugal are to be banned from the European Cup after it was revealed that they have been caught using performance enhancing steroids.
Read full storyBig Brown Triple Crown flop is omen for UK Prime Monster
Whitehall, London - (Assinine Mess): Opus Dei omen watchers were sent scurrying for cover back to their sewerage ratholes last night after dual Kentucky Derby and Preakness hero Big Brown limped in last in the Belmont, as pathetic and flaccid an ico...
Read full storyWar not to be mentioned
BBC chief Sir Basil Faulteigh has ordered his football commentators not to mention the war in tonight's Germany match.
Read full storyCherie stashed Brinks-Mat bullion in Hampstead safety deposit vaults
London - (Ass Mess): Police have uncovered half a tonne of stolen gold bullion from a safety deposit box belonging to Cherie Blair.
Read full storyEuro 2008 - Ten German bombers named official anthem
Organisers of the festival of diving, Soccer Mum 2008 today said they were pleased to announce they had officially endorsed the Ten German Bombers song as their anthem for the duration of the tournament. The song itself is said to be popular all over...
Read full story"Sorry, I Had Bugs for Lunch"
Any Town USA: This last week has been a disaster as the cost a barrel of oil has hit an all time high, the unemployment rate has gone up, the stock market has tanked and food prices have gone through the overhead. Now a new study postulates that bug...
Read full storyManchester United In European Championships Surprise
In a surprise move, UEFA today put Manchester United into the European Championships.
Read full storySy Snootles band to learn new tune
The Sy Snootles Big Band, last seen in space documentary Star Wars are to learn another tune, to see them in further gigs.
Read full storyHow UK fights remote control war
The BBC has been given an inside look at Britain's latest weapon in the remote war fight.
Read full storyWind Turbines to Combat Global Warming
Sources close to David Cameron have revealed that the Conservative Party leader is considering radical proposals to build thousands of wind turbines in the North of England, Scotland and Wales, in a bid to combat glo...
Read full storyCycle Paths or Psychopaths?
Riding on pavements and not stopping at traffic lights when showing red to allow pedestrians to cross will no longer 'be optional' for Cyclists from 2009.
Read full storyUS Insists: Mexico Must Protect Human Rights Better Than We Do!
The United States Congress is demanding that Mexico exceed the miserable job its own country has done in the protection of human rights. The US Congress is threatening to withhold funds from a US grant for drug intervention if Mexico can't stop A...
Read full storyClinton: Life After the Primaries
Many people are wondering as to what is next for Hillary Clinton now that she is no longer a candidate for President. Actually Clinton has several options available that she can pursue.
Read full storyWWE Champion John Cena to run for Prez in 2012
The buzz is all about in WWE of John Cena running for president in 2012. He made his official bid for the Democratic nomination yesterday as already chosen WWE Women's Champion Mickie James as his running mate.
Read full storyClinton Puts Obama In Her Fave Five
Minutes after suspending her campaign Hillary Clinton called Barrack Obama to let him know that she had added him to her fave five.
Read full storyHillary Clinton Back On Her Meds; Concedes to Obama
(Washington D.C.) - Facing a revolution from her supporters in Congress, Senator Hillary Clinton today, reportedly "tanked to the gills" on Xanax, managed to finally concede the Democratic Presidential Nomination to Illinois Senator Barack...
Read full storyPolish Spoof Sun
London - (Wapping Mess): The Polish Spoof Sun has hit the news stands in the UK with a full-color edition featuring dozens of Page Three stonking great big 36GG tits covered in the East European team's national colors.
Read full storyProfitable New Businesses Breaking In U.S.
In the United States there are many profitable new businesses emerging in rural areas. But, due to lack of intelligence, and lack of the state actually being a decent place to work, Central Maine holds some of the strangest forms of organized crime,...
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