Askern, a town in South Yorkshire, in the metropolitan borough of Doncaster has put itself on the world map by winning the "Ugliest Population in the World" Award.
In a special ceremony held at the weekly Sunday Market in Wheatley Bridge just off Junction 34 of the M62 outside the town, the Mayor of Askern, Councillor Esme Reallyugly, received the award from some famous chap with pitted skin who reeked of a mixture of garlic and professionally bad B.O.
The famous chap said:
"We have been secretly observing the people of Askern for the past three months, and they are certainly worthy winners of the "Ugliest People" award.
"The town has more overweight blobs, more acreage of tattoos (female and male) and more body piercings per capita than anywhere else in the country. They also beat the entire cast of EastEnders into second place for making English their second language. Although, to be fair, on the language front, there wasn't much between them and Hull.
"At one stage, the research team were almost tumbled, because out of all the patrons - men, women and the undecided - in the town's main pub, the "Lice and Chipfat", they were the only ones not to have ponytails, tattoos and earrings or wearing ski pants, hoodies and fake trainers.
"We are delighted for the town's underclass that they can now hold their heads in pride that they have won this major award."
