Flood Victims Suffer "Water Fear" Trauma That Won't Allow Some Of Them To Have A Bath
Victims of last year's nationwide flooding have suffered unprecedented trauma that has led to some people developing a fundamental fear of water, rendering them unable to undertake routine tasks...
Read full storyFDA Bans Placebos
In order to placate the American public's fear that medical aid is not high on his agenda, President George W. Bush has issued the following statement.
Read full storyPygmy Tribe Sues the NBA
Speaking from inside the Yaoundé Intel Basketball Arena in the capitol city of Cameroon, a spokesman for the Baka pygmy tribe addressed a gathering of American sports writers. The following is the verbatim transcript taken at that meeting.
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Set To Give Birth In Antarctica
Hollywood CA -- Angelina Jolie decided to give birth to her twins in Antarctica. She will have her children on the Ross Ice Sheet surrounded by squawking penguins and curious sea lions. The twins will be the first humans ever born on the Ice Continen...
Read full storyGang Crime: "Stop the Ermine 5"
Police and anti-crime protesters have called for the "Ermine 5" to be brought to justice. The gang have brought terror to many as they make decisions which fly in the face of common sense. It is thought that the gang are addicted to drugs-m...
Read full storyLabour Government Loses £25million Of Taxpayers' Money Every Day
Today the Chancellor of the Labour government, Alastair Darling, announced that 25 million pounds of taxpayers' money was being lost every day. 'Yes', he admitted, 'it's true! Nobody knows where it goes, it just disappears like ma...
Read full storySexy Woman In Shorts Not Skirt Shock
The tennis world was stunned today when one of the leading women players chose to wear a pair of shorts.
Read full storyRobert Mugabe's 10 Favourite Songs
Here are the Zimbabwean president's 10 favourite songs:...
Read full storyGorgon Brown behind torture of secret £500 billion British sovereign wealth fund owners
London - (Tyrannical Mess): Whitehall irony watchers are twitching nervously ahead of Friday's Veterans Day festivities as Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's most terrifying legal adversaries prepare to sue the shit out of his one year'...
Read full storyMcCain Invites Imus to Spearhead Minority Outreach
After polls indicate Presidential candidate John McCain is losing ground with Hispanic and African American voters, McCain announced the hiring of his newest campaign advisor, radio personality Don Imus.
Read full storyTop Asian officer doesn't make race claim
A top Asian police officer in London today didn't make a claim of racial discrimination. Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur made the announcement on BBC Radio 4 that 'I'm not making any claim of discrimination, I'm just doing a paid job like a gr...
Read full storyMale Enhancement Pill Has Astonishing Results
New Yawk NY-- The Phizzer Company's new pill--Exxxtend--has been giving remarkable results in early tests. The pill is designed to lengthen the penis. Some men have seen their members grow by as much as ten yards after only a few days on the pill!...
Read full storyZimbabwe To Host 2010 World Cup
In a surprise move, FIFA today announced that the 2010 World Cup would be held in Zimbabwe.
Read full storyRaj Persaud removes Control, C and V keys from his PC
In response to recent accusations of plagiarism, Dr Raj Persaud has told the press that he has removed the copy and paste keys from his computer (Control, C and V).
Read full storyMoving Skyscraper in Dubai relocates to Benidorm
The much vaunted 'moving' skyscraper scheduled to be built in Dubai by 2010 has announced it will move to the popular Spanish resort of Benidorm.
Read full storyRobert Mugabe enters anagram hall of fame
African statesman, potential Nobel Peace Prize winner, despot and murderer Robert Mugabe was today initiated into the International Anagram Hall of Fame.
Read full storyFritzl's incest dungeon to be Creation Museum exhibit
Amstetten, Austria - (Lurid Mess): Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's hellish concentration camp basement is to be moved lock, stock and fetid barrel to Kentucky's Creation Museum.
Read full storySupermarket porn
Popular supermarket chain Cesto has unveiled plans to screen pornographic material within all of it's UK stores.
Read full storyVicar from Grimsby sick of being confused with international terrorist organisation
A former Vicar from Grimsby is taking Arab terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda to the European Court of Human Rights.
Read full story"No gibbering wreck in the Vatican" as new witness testifies in girl's 1983 murder
Rome - (God's Banker Mess): Nobody in the Vatican has broken out in giant oozing pustules all over their fetid Nazi body" amid reports a new witness to the 1983 murder of a fifteen year-old Vatican girl will testify against him.
Read full storyHenman Hill Renamed "Eaton Enclave" After Serb Rout
Henman Hill, that last bastion of Englishness, is to be renamed Eaton Enclave after yesterday's unexpected Triumph of the Will of Chris Eaton, over Serbian Boris Pashankovichski...
Read full storyBurger King Employee chosen to play "Wayne Skywalker"
Omaha, Nebraska - In an unlikely event, the actor chosen to play Anakin Skywalker's deaf brother Wayne in an upcoming TV mini-series "The Skywalkers", was Local fry cook Rodney Simon.
Read full storyMonkey Woods to be the New Labour Government Spin Doctor
Yesterday Gordon Brown who has just served twelve disastrous months as Prime Minister and Leader of the Labour Party appointed Mr Monkey Woods has his Spin Doctor in a vain attempt to win back the confidence of the British Electorate.
Read full storyThreesome a success says 3 CSU students
Fort Collins, CO - On Wednesday night at 8:15 p.m., CSU students Vicki Bell, Damon Thompson, and Reginald Bale successfully initiated and completed a threesome.
Read full storyUtah governor introduces new alcohol law
Salt Lake City, Utah - In an attempt to make the beehive states already confusing liquor laws even more mind blowing, Utah governor Hyrum Smith III introduced the "Sippy-cup law".
Read full storyShaq has his Deputy Badge Revoked
After Shaquille O'Neal's racy rap that called out former teammate Kobe Bryant, his special deputy badge was taken away from him by the Maricopa County Sheriff. This enraged many people because they thought Shaq was just being funny and didn&#...
Read full storyHeather Locklear still hot despite depression
Doctors treating TV vixen Heather Locklear say she is still incredibly sexy and hot despite being hospitalized in an Arizona facility for anxiety and depression.
Read full storyHoliday Exchange Program for Homeless Stumbles
New York - Now that hot summer days are upon us those well-off look forward to a weekend in the Hamptons or Poconos. Rising costs of living have led to a novel exchange program to make summer holidays more affordable for all, remarkably even...
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