Monkey Woods to be the New Labour Government Spin Doctor

Funny story written by Gordon Bennet

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

image for Monkey Woods to be the New Labour Government Spin Doctor
George Bush on the Blower to Monkey Woods seeking advice on World Affairs

Yesterday Gordon Brown who has just served twelve disastrous months as Prime Minister and Leader of the Labour Party appointed Mr Monkey Woods has his Spin Doctor in a vain attempt to win back the confidence of the British Electorate.

A recent Poll showed that Brown had become so unpopular that Labour had slipped from having 40% share of the Vote to a minus 23% share.

In the past Tony Blair has used Peter Mandelson and Alastair Campbell to great effect so the question on Labour Ministers lips yesterday was "Can Monkey Do the Business."

Mr Woods started his career at Hull where he transformed a down and out Football Team Hull City, from Football Conference stragglers to Premiership hopefuls.

When you consider that Woods achieved the impossible with a budget of only £196.34p one can only sit up and listen when this Guy speaks.

Fresh from his success at Hull, Woods was Head Hunted by London Mayor Ken Livingston to secure the 2012 Olympic Games for the City.

Apparently Woods advice to Seb Coe and Steve Redgrave was invaluable and the Games would never have to come London without his expertise particularly his fluency in Chinese.

It must be pointed out that Monkey Woods did attend University for five years where he studied the Chinese Language and there is no truth in the rumour that he picked up a bit of the Chinkie Lingo down at his favourite Takeaway.

Following his success in London, Woods was then approached by the Leader of Birmingham City Council to try and achieve what is considered the impossible "Birmingham to be 2009 European City Of Culture."

Apparently when Woods first heard the suggestion he muttered "yo gotto be bleedin jokin."

If Woods manages to achieve success in Birmingham it will be considered by Experts as a miracle.

Looking up the words Monkey Woods in the Concise Oxford Dictionary it can be found that there are many anagrams of these two words and that the meaning is a person with a wicked sense of humour who has the ability to make people laugh by talking complete and utter B_ _ _ _ _

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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