"No gibbering wreck in the Vatican" as new witness testifies in girl's 1983 murder

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

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Cool as a cucumber, Hitler's Pope Ratzinger

Rome - (God's Banker Mess): Nobody in the Vatican has broken out in giant oozing pustules all over their fetid Nazi body" amid reports a new witness to the 1983 murder of a fifteen year-old Vatican girl will testify against him.

That is the latest news from an Opus Dei PR agency that has been appointed to micro-manage the entire situation as Rome police reopen a baffling murder myster linked to cold war shenanigans involving the bankruptcy of their leading slush fund the Vatican Bank

Recovering addict and former mobster's moll Sabrina Minardi has told police she has vital new evidence linking Ratzinger and his erstwhile accomplice Cardinal Paul Marcinkus RIP in the contract killing of Vatican employee Emanuela Orlandi.

Minardi says Orlandi vanished on Marcinkus's orders after getting too close to money laundering scams that the wily old Lithuanian prelate was running on Ratzinger's behalf, setting up Vatican mobster cartel offshoots in Eastern Europe under the guise of new Opus Dei chapters.

Minardi is set to testify that her gangster ex, Enrico De Pedis, kidnapped Orlandi on Ratzinger's orders, "put her in a sack and threw her into a cement mixer in Torvaianica" near the sand dunes off the coast near Rome.

The case has been in limbo for the last 25 years after Pope John Paul refused to allow police to interview Marcinkus or his evil puppetmaster Joseph Ratzinger.

The death of 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi still remains a mystery todday despite countless efforts by George Bush Senior to excise all evidence connecting him and Shrub from the P2 Lodge gang investigated for the murder.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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