Victims of last year's nationwide flooding have suffered unprecedented trauma that has led to some people developing a fundamental fear of water, rendering them unable to undertake routine tasks like washing or even making a cup of tea.
Thousands of affected people in Hull, East Yorkshire, have contacted their doctors telling them that they feel so anxious when it starts raining, that they have to run indoors, and go upstairs, out of the reach of rising water levels. Some even go up into their lofts.
The report says that many people can no longer have a bath or even wash their face, so frightened are they that they will drown, and one woman living close to the mouth of the River Humber, told researchers that she hadn't had a cup of tea for nearly 12 months, because she was fearful of turning on her taps.
The residents interviewed were mainly from Hull and surrounding areas, but critics have said that many of those questioned were from backgrounds that rarely washed anyway, and drank only beer.
Expert critic Bradley Seymour-Titts, of Southern Research Systems, said:
"The study group were moaning, unwashed slackers from the Northern underbelly. All had massive insurance claims turned down. They should shut up and get back in their caravans."
But the last word went to Ena Sharpless, 118, of the Bransholme Estate, when she said:
"Ahoy!"
