Danish Pastries and the Dutch Chicken Supremo
A spokesman for the Danish Manchester United Supporters Club (Denmark for all you southerners is up north a bit, turn right, start swimming, near Norway), has taken responsibility for all the fuss surrounding Utd's alleged tapping up of Spurs'...
Read full storySupermarket Granny Jilted By 'In Denial' Chef
As the news of the highly shocking Davidson/White marriage breaks, an elderly woman reveals the emotional turmoil that she has been put through by the newly married MPW.
Read full storySir Alex Games To Go Ahead In August
The Sir Alex Ferguson Games will be held in England this August. The first event will be Teacup Throwing at Mummy's Boys, where competitors throw half-full china cups at blonde men who wear women's clothes, shortly followed by the 90 Minutes...
Read full storyMarco Pierre.. Davidson?
Earlier this morning (22nd July 2008) celebrity chef Marco pierre white and bankrupt ex-comedian Jim Davidson announced their engagement to one another. The event was held at an unlikely venue but one extremely precious to Marco and his husband-to-be...
Read full storyWilliam unveils new coat of arms
London - (Sticky Buns Mess): A hoary barnacle desperately clinging onto the wreckage of a KGB cocaine smuggling submersible is the marine motif on Prince William's newly unveiled coat of arms.
Read full storyCongresswoman Michele Bachmann Advocates Backyard Oil Rigs
Washington, D.C. - During a teleconference today, Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann said that to help cut gas prices, congress should open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling, and allow for the expansion of oil exploration in o...
Read full storyMcCain Denounces Victory In Iraq
DC - Republican Presidential candidate John Sidney McCain III denounced Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki for saying that Iraq was doing so well that American troops could withdraw.
Read full storyBritain Braces Itself for Low-Priced Petrol!
Cash-strapped wannabe martyrs who want to claim their bounty of 72 virgins, can now go ahead and make their plans to strike at any moment - thanks to greedy supermarkets such as Stainsbury's, Tosscos, Masda's and Dorrison's.
Read full storyGiant frog found alive!
The giant frog, Beelzebufo Ampinga, or "the frog from hell" has today been found alive. Until today, the 'devil frog' was thought to be extinct.
Read full storyRadovan Karadzic ashamed of past
Serbian Radovan Karadzic has spoken publicly of his shame about some aspects of his previous life.
Read full storyA Nightmare On Wall Street, Part 3: The In Denial Dream Warriors
As the fact that all credit was based on nothing, except one hundred times the actual real wealth that is deposited in the banks, it seems certain that Robert Englund will be recalled to make another Nightmare On Wall Street film, the first since 192...
Read full storyHitler Given Head by Woman
A waxwork doll of the Fuhrer Adolf Hitler has been given a new head, just hours after losing it to some deranged bloke. Angela Merkel, also Chancellor of Germany immediately gave her predecessor a head allegedly saying;...
Read full storyPolitical Correctness Brigade want to rename Lucozade Sport
Following on from their recent announcement about Cheese Puffs, The Political Correctness Brigade have another target in their sights - Lucozade Sport.
Read full storyVoter asks Gordon Brown for his money back
Henry Crankshaft, a Labour voter from Westhoughton near Manchester, shocked the British world of politics when he knocked on the door of number 10 Downing Street earlier this morning seeking a refund.
Read full storyIraqi People Thank American and British Soldiers
Thousands of people have attended a big rally in the centre of Baghdad to say "thank you" to the soldiers of America and Britain for all their help that has returned Iraq to normal.
Read full storyWill Smith injured by overly tight costume
News in briefs - Will Smith, at a press conference in Australia promoting the movie Hancock, announced that when he said the line "It's a little tight", featured in TV adverts for the movie, he was actually trying to inform the director...
Read full storyNATO's first dog of war prompts formation of new K9 para regiment
Washington DC - (Shaggy Dog Mess): A top secret NATO bugging operation that planted a wired pooch into the Oval Orifice has been hailed as immensely successful.
Read full storyLeprechaun found, Irish nation confused
Ireland is a nation that stands proudly with the rest of Europe when it comes to highly skilled, well educated workers. Its youths, while too young to work, prove they will be upstanding citizens by competing strongly against England and Scotland for...
Read full storyJob Scare At Job Centre
There were terrifying scenes of pandemonium this morning at a local Jobcentre Plus office when staff and frantic 'customers' realised that one of the jobs on the Visual Display Jobpoints was genuine.
Read full storyWater balloon fight - 4 dead
France is in mourning today after an emergency response team shot dead four teenagers they mistook to be terrorists.
Read full storyAnti-Political Suicide Training School Opens
Chappaqua, N.Y, July 2008: An Anti-Political Suicide Training school has been established here to help politicians cope with appearing on TV and radio interview shows and not get their butts kicked or a foot stuck in their mouth.
Read full storyArchbishop of Canterbury disguise fooled the world says Karadzic
Belgrade - (Gotcha! Mess): A UN whore crimes posse has confirmed that evil Serbian war lord Radovan Karadic hid out in Sarajevo's General Colon Bowel Colonic Irrigation Clinic, escaping detection for 13 years via a cunning disguise imper...
Read full storyPuffin McMuffin.....on your menu?
Machias, Me./ AP - In keeping with their regional marketing plans, a Machias, Me. McDonnalds has been authorized to test market their new breakfast sandwich, The Puffin McMuffin. Machias's Seal Island has been a natural habitat for the colorful on...
Read full storyOil Is Cheaper Today! Get Some Petrol Quick!
The world's financial markets have today shown a dramatic slump in the price of oil, and several leading UK supermarkets are holding an extraordinary one-day 'Petrol Is Down' spectacular sale!...
Read full storyStallWallScrawl.cum June's Rest Room Remembrances
Pope to go down under: What's new?!...
Read full storyJohnny Rotten Betrays Fans By Denying... He's Rotten!
When an Afro-Briton rocker lay bleeding and prone backstage at the Spanish music festival, witnesses and worshippers of Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten bragged that the punk rock outlaw and his entourage visited a racist rampage on the poor black bloke.
Read full storyLambeth Conference Attended By No One!
Every ten years the eminences who lead the dioceses of the Church of England and its Anglican outposts around the globe gather to celebrate the strong communion of a church that has always maintained unity in diversity.
Read full story'Darren Pattinson Makes England's Cricket Crooked' Vaughan Whines
When South Africa trampled England by ten wickets in four days, Captain Michael Vaughan was looking for someone to blame:...
Read full storyAl Maliki of Iraq Told What He Thinks by US Colonizers; But Spoof Has Tapes!
Obama said timeline; Al Maliki said:You bet your boots. But when the Washington DC colonizers got wind of the common mind shared by the Democratic Presidential hopeful and the Iraqi leader the fit hit the shan! Al Maliki's marionette strings were...
Read full storyRadovan Karadzic Arrested as War Criminal; Can't be Long before Bush , Cheney and Bin Laden Get Theirs!
The round up of war criminals hasn't been this busy since the Nuremberg trials. Radovan Karadzic will finally stand trial for his horrendous acts of genocide and massacre. The Serbian former dictator was on the run for 12 years but now his days a...
Read full storyObama spurns UN, heads for Somalia
Declaring victory for his war policies in Iraq and Afghanistan, Presidential hopeful Barack Obama cut short his middle eastern tour and turned his attention toward his peace initiative in Somalia.
Read full storyGore's Speeches Cause of Global Warming
Boulder Colorado - Climatologists have announced the source of global warming surprisingly has been pinpointed to the escalating length and number of speeches on climate change by Al Gore.
Read full storyPatty Hearst Endorses Obama
Greenwich, Cn./ AP - Inspired by the recent New Yorker Magazine cover of Michelle Obama looking like Angela Davis, and Barack Obama looking like a Charmin Toilet Paper ad with a roll wrapped around his head, the former trust fund terrorist said she...
Read full storySir Alex Ferguson Is Just Plain Wrong About Cristiano Ronaldo
Sir Alex Ferguson made a monumental mistake yesterday when, speaking about the Cristiano Ronaldo debacle, the Man Utd boss told the world's Press that "the worst thing that he can do is go to AC Milan".
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