DC - Republican Presidential candidate John Sidney McCain III denounced Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki for saying that Iraq was doing so well that American troops could withdraw.
"We'll have victory when I say so!" muttered McCain, "And that won't be at least until 2013, probably longer. As long as we can borrow from the Chinese, we can afford to fight in Iraq. And no Arab is going to tell me otherwise!"
Pundits agreed that Iraq's political leader had no business offering an opinion on Iraq. "Maliki doesn't even wear a flag pin," noted White House Press Mocker Dana Perrino. "No-one who doesn't wear a flag pin can possibly have enough patriotism to know anything about Iraq."
"Iraq is a dangerous place," agreed George W Bush, standing next to McCain. "If we don't have a major troop presence there, who knows who the Iraqis will sell their oil to? We dare not take the risk of achieving success in Iraq too soon!"