European Commission issues new definition of an orgasm
The European Commission is working on a new directive to define a female orgasm after numerous reports of fake orgasms appearing throughout the continent.
Read full storyObama, Obama, Obama
The wallet said Edwards, the brain Hillary, but the heart voted for Obama. The heart and the American dream triumph at the Iowa caucus. Take that, people who think the American dream is dead.
Read full storyWriters' strike ends; audience strike begins
News that the Writers' Guild of America has ended its strike was overshadowed by a strike by the audience. The Viewers' Guild of America [VGoA], representing TV, film and stage audiences in the U.S., has announced its members "will not w...
Read full storyRoad-rage grannies appear in court
Two grandmothers, both over the age of 80, today appeared in court in Southampton accused of a number of charges from disturbing the peace to affray and Actual Bodily Harm.
Read full storyTV programmes force 102 year-old to leave Britain
When Hampshire dentist, 102 year old Eric King-Turner retired just two years ago (in keeping with the new government pension age) he has finally decided to sell-up and ship out. Taking a four week cruise to the antipodean island,
Read full storyPeruvian fish walks out of sea
A fish in Peru has allegedly "walked out" of the sea in a port north of Lima. It took many on-lookers at a busy fishing port by surprise when the fish, thought to be an Island Coral Trout, not native to the South Pacific Ocean, merely wande...
Read full storyBritney Spears found Kevin with a prostitute
Britney Spears reportedly found a prostitute in ex-husband Kevin Federline's hotel room on a weekend. That is what prompted her to finally file for divorce.
Read full storyBritney stalker sues for distress
A hideous looking man dubbed "The Asian hunch back" ordered to stay away from pop singer Britney Spears is suing the star for causing "emotional distress".
Read full storyFabio Capello demands that English football players learn Italian
Expensive new coach of the England football team, Fabio Capello, has stunned all in the football world by announcing that all members of the English squad will be required to learn Italian.
Read full storyYet another Russian coke sub sinks off Colombia
Bogota - (AssoCIAted Mess): Russian Secret Service cocaine smugglers scuttled yet another of their Bloodyvostock-engineered Barrakuda-class submarines off Colombia's Pacific coast today blaming uneven freight distribution that caused the...
Read full storyCouncil for the Preservation of Lurid England order to save Winehouse beehive erection
East London - (Reuterus): Officials from the entertainment branch of the Council for the Preservation of Lurid England have met with Amy Winehouse in a bid to save her 'from doing a Britney' and shaving off her hair extensions.
Read full storyUK's 1,000 ex-KGB Spooks to Spend Russian Orthodox Xmas in Slammer Say Cops
London - (Bad Add Mess): Up to 1,000 of the UK's ex-KGB spooks 'who simply melted into the UK's New Labour Party' will spend their Russian Orthodox Xmas in the slammer according to the Met's top brass this weekend.
Read full storyPeter Andre Loses Libel Action
Peter Andre lost his libel action in the High Court yesterday.
Read full storyCastro Says: Disregard My List of 300 Good Ideas Por Favor
Havana, Cuba (IPP) - Fidel Castro is responsible for turning what was once known as the Pearl of the Caribbean into the Turd of the Caribbean. He has acknowledged this and is asking that the world ignore his recent list of 300 good ideas on everythi...
Read full storyCuba Launches New Cruise Ship
Havana, Cuba (IPP) - The Democratic Worker's Paradise and Republic of Cuba has launched a new Cruise ship. The name of the new ship is El Mojon de la Caribbean.
Read full storyHow to Make A Million Dollars in the Stock Market
Wall Street, New York (IPP) - There are only two ways to get rich quick and they are the stock market and real estate.
Read full storyArctic Region Black With Quadrantid Meteor Shower Debris
Anchorage, Alaska (IPP) - The north pole turned black with meterorites from the recent Quadrantid meteor shower.
Read full storyCalifornia Storm is Britney Spears Fault
Sacramento, California (IPP) - The monster storm that cut off power to millions of residents of California is a warning from heaven to Britney Spears.
Read full storyGod Flies Around in Flying Saucer Sometimes
Pasadena, California (IPP) - Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL) studying pictures sent back by the two Voyager spacecrafts have direct evidence that God flies through the solar system aboard a flying saucer.
Read full storyIt is now Legal to Sell your Children
As from the 6th January 2008, every parent, foster parent, guardian will have the right by law to sell their children announced President George W. Bush of America, President Yar'Adua of Nigeria, and many others.
Read full storyThe Adventures Of Flash Flyguy Intergalactic Mercenary!
In our last exciting installment, intergalactic space pilot and Han Solo wannabe Flash Flyguy, along with his faithful droid Divot single-handedly (and with the help of some very convenient plot points) saved a small band of terrafarmers on Glorthos IV from certain doom from this really evil oppressive guy we can't name because Lucasfilm slapped an injunction on us.
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