Top fashion statement in 2007 - Bilawal Bhutto's 'perfectly' waxed eyebrows
In today's highly fashion-conscious world where hirsute women drop thousands of dollars at hair-waxing salons to get their upper lips, chins and bushy brows deforested, Bilawal Bhutto's waxed eyebrows have topped the fashion...
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Man breaks resolution record
CHARLOTTE - A Charlotte man broke the world's record for breaking a New Year's resolution.
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100,000 Iowans to Decide the Fate of the Western World
DES MOINES, Iowa -- Don't ever let it be said that Iowans take their caucusing lightly. Here is a sample of some of the issues and questions the caucusers would like answered by the cocksure Presidential hopefuls.
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Winehouse husband 'does a Britney' shaving off hair after failed dope test fears
HMP Belmarsh, London - (Bad Ass Mess): Singer Amy Winehouse's husband Flake Bleeder-Weevil has stunned fellow inmates by secretly shaving off all his bodily hair following reports he'd failed a urine test for crack cocaine use.
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Whoopee cushion landmine blast kills Somali colonel
Mogadishu, Somalia - (Bad Ass Mess): The Al-Kebab terror group has claimed responsibility for the killing of a senior Somali colonel after planting a whoopee cushion landmine on his chair at work on New Year's Eve.
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Gotcha - Ron Paul says it's all a joke.
"It started as a gag, but then people started sending me money. It wasn't supposed to go this far." said Mr. Paul, who then revealed that he is really an unemployed circus clown named Barney Klemperer.
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EU Vagina Tax
Following EU plans to tax male members next year, women will not escape as their bits are going to be measured too. Forms are, as we speak, being prepared in Brussels ready for the Tax year 2008 and girls over 16 years of age, will face a 'Hole T...
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This time, SIZE IS Important - A New Tax For Men Only
For years, centuries even, Men have always bragged about the size of their peckers as if it were important. Now in a shocking new revelation it will be important and finally the truth will come out.
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Britney Spears in the Zone with Nazi Skinheads
Britney Spears has decided to shave her head bald, and she's not doing it for charity. She fell in love with the powerful Nazi Skinhead movement.
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Ron Paul War Strategy Unveiled
Ron Paul, in a striking move to appease pro-war conservatives, today announced that he has changed his battle strategy in Iraq, Iran, and Afghanistan, among other places.
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Paris Hilton: Snickers Diet The Best for 2008!
New Yourk, NY - Paris Hilton has amazed family and friends in the past 6 months. From May to July she gained neary 50 pounds by eating an entirely vegetarian diet. (largely fried bananna and peanut butter sandwiches) She then tried the new Snicker...
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Al Gore Pushes H2 Tax On Sun
We all hear about our use of carbon based fuels and how they are apparently killing our planet but, according to global warming scare monger Al Gore, there is a bigger danger to us all. This danger comes from the sun and its bigger and bigger use of...
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John Prescott World Record
It's official, in a secret dossier, known only to myself and several million Daily Mirror readers, John Prescott has entered the Guinness Book of Records as the fattest bastard to ever enter British politics.
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