TV programmes force 102 year-old to leave Britain

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Saturday, 5 January 2008

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The King-Turner's heading for New Zealand

When Hampshire dentist, 102 year old Eric King-Turner retired just two years ago (in keeping with the new government pension age) he has finally decided to sell-up and ship out. Taking a four week cruise to the antipodean island, Mr King-Turner and his wife, Doris, (quite old), told an In Seine News reporter from the deck of a luxury liner, docked in Southampton;

"Well I've been looking forward to this for a long time. A not very well-known fact is that Dentists have always been poor and it has taken me about 75 years to pay off my mortgage with Northern Rock.

"I have qualified for Winter Fuel Payments for over 40 years and a free TV licence for 27 years but the government refuse to backdate the benefits. If they had, I would have been able to go to New Zealand ages ago.

"There is so much rubbish on telly these days; I can see why they give them away free. Me and Doris are going on a big adventure and "I may be away for some time!"

His wife, Doris, said

"We were watching 'A place in the Sun' and the great grand-children switched over to 'I'm a Celebrity Get me out of Here!' And then the great-great-grandchildren burst in and changed over to 'Lord of the Rings'.

"Ted and I fell in love with the place and we will want to go and explore it before our passports run out - we've only got 4 years left on them, but as Ted says he does not plan to die, we shall have to reapply for them down under."

"We both plan to go surfing, bungee jumping and snowboarding." She said squeezing her husband's hand excitedly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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