Vanessa's Zac Attack
Tweeny-bopper star Vanessa Hudgens has spoken publicly recently about plans to wait a while before marrying or having kids with her co-star boyfriend Zac Efron, but does she have a problem with kids?...
Read full storyOttumwa Iowa Man Produces Worlds Largest Stool
A Spokesman for the Guinness Book of World Records, Sir Reginald Bottoms, announced today that a record for the largest stool ever produced by a single human being would go into their record books. "My god you should have seen that sucker, I ha...
Read full storyScientology agents provocateur bid to spring Winehouse into Narconon rehab
Roehampton, W London - (Heath Ledger Mess): Scientology agents provocateur have made successful covert contact with a livid Amy Winehouse at London's top drug-slag rehab The Priory.
Read full storyParis Hilton Gives Golden Showers to Saudi Royalty
In an never ending attempt to court the very rich, this landmark hotel gave admiring Saudi's more royal treatment by gifting them their solid gold shower fixtures from their most exclusive suites.
Read full storyDiana's Butler now "in love" with Kate Moss
Paul Burrell continued to combine his two obsessions of headline grabbing and vulnerable women by having an affair with Kate Moss .
Read full storyOasis Collaboration With Tweenies In Jeopardy
Noel and Liam Gallagher, siblings from world famous legendary rock band Oasis, have admitted that recording sessions while collaborating with the Tweenies have been 'tough'. The proposed new single, 'Stop The Tweenie Clock', has been in production he...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera writes a letter to Brazilian government
Christina Aguilera in an unprecedented move wrote a letter to the Brazilian government to raise their consciousness over the Brazilian prison system.
Read full storyActor Glenn Ford Endorses Ron Paul
Straight talking actor Glenn Ford today endorsed Rep. Ron Paul's bid for the Republican Party's presidential nomination.
Read full storyAshley Tisdale could live in Disneyland
Pretty socialite Ashley Tisdale gave an inspirational speech on why she lives in a real Disneyland and in fact is the only one that can afford to go to Milan:...
Read full storyJames Bond to have gay lover in new film
The new James Bond film title is out and so it would seem is 007. According to the producers, James Bond will take a number of lovers both female and male in what is a major departure for the world's most famous spy. In a move destined to stun mo...
Read full storyAmerican food and consumer goods manufacturing base unite to combat inflation by serving smaller portions and reducing packaging sizes
Washington, D.C - Once again doing its part to help the America consumer in his or her time of need, the American and international food and consumer goods manufacturing conglomerates unite to combat inflation by serving smaller portions and reducing...
Read full storySurreal twist as Peter Hain's overspending brings down French bank
Peter Hain was forced to resign today from his post as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions when it was revealed that his campaign to be deputy prime minister had spent over $7 billion dollars that rightfully belonged to French Bank Societe Gener...
Read full storyMr. Washington goes to Smith
College dropout and unabashed low-achiever Elton Washington announced to family and friends on Thursday that he planned to enter Smith Nursing School next year.
Read full storyEvil Kerviel Named as 3.6 Billion French Fraudster
Ze French Fraudster who pinched 3.6 billion English Pounds or 660 billion French Francs 'as been named today as 31-year-old Evil Kerviel who worked een Société Générale's financing and Voleur division.
Read full story"Our rogue traders are better than yours," say leading US banks
America's leading banks have reacted angrily to claims that a French rival, Societe General, has achieved the world's biggest trading fraud loss, worth $7bn.
Read full storyScientists announce probability of Britney "one in a Trillion"
Scientists at the Texas Advanced Center for Inquiry (TACI) announced that they have calculated the probability of Britney Spears. Using IBM's "Blue Jeans" million processor supercomputer behemoth, the group processed data from the Human...
Read full storyAl Gore Lists "Fudgie the Whale" as Endangered
Speaking recently before a group of environmentalists, Al Gore mentioned the Carvel Ice Cream cake "Fudgie the Whale" as listed on a prominent endangered species list. Gore had heard that patrons of Carvel's often use the frame of the w...
Read full storyGiulidammerung: Twilight of the GOP
NYC - The Republican Opera House is proud to announces Giulidammerung, the last of the four opera that comprise Das Riun des Reagenungen (The Ruin of Reaganism), by Richard Viguerie. It will premiere at the RNC Konventionhaus on September 1, 2008.
Read full storyBush Farts and Wipes Trillions of Dollars Off Global Stock Markets
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - It can now be revealed that a plate of Boston Baked Beans caused the recent plunge of global stock markets, when President Bush passed gas at an inopportune time while entertaining the foreign ministers of Saudi Arabia and J...
Read full storyPolice To Get Support Of Miners In Pay Dispute
Policemen involved in a dispute over pay with Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, received a shot in the arm today from an unlikely source, as the National Union of Mineworkers announced that they were thro...
Read full storyGeorge Galloway disses Respect
London - (Pathetic Mess): Tireless self-publicist and cross-dressing groveller on the Celebrity Big Brother show George Galloway has been booted out of his Respect Party (membership: 1) after a furious row about expense account perks.
Read full storyRomney Holiday Card Gets Bin-Laden & Hefner Endorsement
(Columbia-S.C.) As if the "Donny & Marie" show wasn't enough of an obstacle to overcome, Republican Presidential candidate Mitt "Don't I Look like one of the extras from "Mad Men", be honest?" Romney now has to c...
Read full storyPluto in Capricorn: expect earthquakes says UN
UN HQ, NYC - (Monumental Mess): Astrologers meeting at the UN Security Council's strategic planning conference today have warned that Saturday 26 January's ingress of Pluto into the sign of Capricorn spells political earthquakes of a magnitu...
Read full storyPeter Hain Arrested by Angry Coppers
Peter Hain, the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, has been arrested by angry police after dropping litter as he made his way to no. 10 Downing Street this morning. He is being held at a polic...
Read full storyDemocrat's South Carolina Strategy Revealed
Greenville, South Carolina (IPP) - The campaign strategy of Obama and Clinton has been revealed to the public by members of their staff.
Read full storyGiuliani Strategy Speech Leaked to Public
Orlando, Florida (IPP) - Voters got a rare view of a presidential candidate's strategy speech before actually hearing it when it was leaked to the public by unknown sources on Wednesday. Here is a complete copy of the speech.
Read full storyHain resigns 'to clear his bank accounts'
Whitehole, London - (Shambolic Mess): Peter Hain has been booted out of the Cabinet after Prime Monster Gorgon Brown grassed him up to the Met's Serious & Disorganised Crime Division "for failing to declare £103,000 of donations to the polic...
Read full storyBen Bernanke Saves Jim Cramer From Destruction
In a generous act of human compassion Helicopter Ben Bernanke, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, called and emergency meeting of the Board late on the night of January 21 to prevent TV host Jim Cramer (CNBC Mad Money) from going "postal...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens cameo role in REM's NYC sex shop comeback single video
New York - (What-an-Ass Mess): High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens has guest-starred in a REM comeback single video filmed at the Babeland sex shop in New York City's Lower East Side this week.
Read full storyRogue trader wipes $7.1bn off Blair banking firm JP Morgan
Off the Wall St - (Embezzlement Mess): A rogue city trader, formerly head of acquisitions at troubled UK lender Northern Crock Bank, has wiped off over $7.1billion from the balance sheet of JP Morgan, the financial institution which has just signed u...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens photographed by paparazzo getting frisky with Zac Efron in the ambulance ride back to the ER; EMT gives blow-by-blow account
Hollywood, California - Half dozen major tabloids are currently engaged in a high-priced bidding war, rumored to be in the millions, over a photo taken by a lucky paparazzo from the rear bay window of the ambulance that transported Vanessa Hudgens an...
Read full storyBush's Modest Proposal a Final Solution for Economic Woes
WASHINGTON, DC - With skepticism about his proposed tax reform running high, and the sand running low in his presidential hourglass, George W. Bush is making a desperate bid to reverse America's current economic woes and leave a lasting imprint u...
Read full storyHeath Ledger Murder Rumors Unfounded
Heath Ledger was found dead in New York City (sometimes referred to as Gotham). Rumors that this was a murder carried out by Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson, and Mark Hamill have not been substantiated, according to local police.
Read full storyTexas to Begin Testing High School Athletes for Steroids
The state of Texas will begin testing student athletes at the high school level for performance enhancing drugs (including steroids) beginning in February. This comes into effect due to a near unanimous vote by the state legislature to reduce drug u...
Read full storyPolitical Candidates Sue For Equal Time
During a political campaign, television and other forms of media must legally make sure that they offer the opportunity for equal time to all viable candidates. In light of that low, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Hillary Clinton, and Bara...
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