Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 24 January 2008

image for Rogue trader wipes $7.1bn off Blair banking firm JP Morgan
Rogue trader took investment advice from this high-profile consultant

Off the Wall St - (Embezzlement Mess): A rogue city trader, formerly head of acquisitions at troubled UK lender Northern Crock Bank, has wiped off over $7.1billion from the balance sheet of JP Morgan, the financial institution which has just signed up Tony Blair as special business adviser.

A JP Morgan spokesman said today investigators had found "a cunning fraud based on simple transactions, concealed by sophisticated and varied techniques" similar to the suspected embezzlement found at Northern Crock.

The bank's shares plunged by over 20% on the news forcing an immediate review of consultancy salaries for all unnecessary high-profile advisers.

One Off the Wall St analyst said today that the JP Morgan rogue trader had taken massive fraudulent directional positions beyond his limited authority after detailed recommendations from "a former head of government now on the company's payroll."

"They're all totally screwed"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Tony Blair




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