UN HQ, NYC - (Monumental Mess): Astrologers meeting at the UN Security Council's strategic planning conference today have warned that Saturday 26 January's ingress of Pluto into the sign of Capricorn spells political earthquakes of a magnitude exceeding accepted Richter Scale norms.
"We expect seismic fallout going back to the very core of the 1980-1988 Reagan/Bush 1 administrations that spawned the hideous chimaera in charge of the White House today," a spokesman said.
Pluto is astrology's karma master and represents political payback time in the USA's natal chart.
It's 2008 transit of Capricorn crosses several cosmic minefields that were spookily evident when the potent planet last opposed Capricorn from its opposition in Cancer in 1912.
There it activated US karmic natal aspects including the awesome Sun/Mercury/Venus/Jupiter four-fold conjunction of America's birth chart.
"What then happened had a monumental effect on the shaping of pre-World War I US hystery," the UN source continued.
"Pluto's last transit of Cancer in 1912 resulted in pivotal phenomena such as establishment of Republic of China, the admission of New Mexico as the 47th US state, the foundation of the African National Congress and the signing of the International Opium Convention in the Hague, all in January 1912.
"The next month, February, saw the St Valentine's Day admission of Arizona as the 48th US state.
"March 1912 was notable for the foundation of the Girl Scouts of the USA and the gift of 3,000 cherry blossom trees by Tokyo's Mayor Yukio Ozaki that were planted in Washington DC to symbolize friendship between the two countries.
"April saw the sinking of the Titanic on her major voyage, spawning the subsequent 20th century movie career of Leonardo di Caprio. Also notable was the opening of the Boston Red Sox's Fenway Park and the Tiger Stadium in Detroit.
"May 1912 brought the Suffrage Parade in New York City and in the UK the establishment of the Royal Flying Corps, forerunner of the RAF.
"June was a hive of activity with the US Marines landing in Cuba, Novarupta erupting in Alaska, Carl Laemmle incorporating Universal Pictures, the Republican Party nominating incumbent President William Howard Taft in Chicago and defeating a challenge by former President Theodore Roosevelt - whose delegates bolted the convention - and the June 25 Democrat nomination of New Jersey Governor Thomas Woodrow Wilson in Baltimore.
"Then in July it was shock and awe time as a meteorite with a mass of 190kg exploded over Holbrook in Navajo County, Arizona, closely followed by the death of the Japanese Emperor Meiji and the succession of his son Taisho.
"More shocking events followed in August 1912 starting with the formation by dissident Republicans of the Progressive or Bull Moose Party which then nominated former President Theodore Roosevelt as its presidential candidate. Six days later France legalised sodomy, so shocking the French protectorate of Morocco that its ruler Sultan Abd Al-Hafid abdicated two days later.
"Then just as Pluto opposed the cosmic position it begins to occupy in Capricorn this weekend we had the September 1912 foundation of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in New York, NY.
"By October 1912 the first really thunderous seismic activity was experienced in the US with the October 14 shooting of ex-President Theordore Roosevelt in Milwaukee, Wisconsin by saloonkeeper John Schrank. Of course this didn't exactly stop him from delivering his campaign address despite being riddled with gunshot wounds. Two days later more shock and awe struck when the Boston Red Sox got lucky by default and beat the New York Giants in extra innings to win the 1912 World Series. Punters lost a fortune on that one!
"November then saw Woodrow Wilson win a landslide presidential election over Republicans' incumbent candidate William Howard Taft. Sure saw them off with their tails between their legs.
"And finally December 1912 brought Alfred Wegener's publications of the theory of Continental Drift."
The UN statement has been interpreted by some sources as a sign of imminent catastrophic change for the current corrupt alliances that the Bush/Cheney Administration has relentlessly forged.
In London a Hellfire Club spokesman said:
"It's the end of the IRA Puppet Monarchy, Gorgon Brown's premiership and evil little tosser Ken Livingstone's tenure of City Hall.
"Oh, and we fully expect Kate Moss, Amy Winehouse, Peter Doherty and other crack slags to be carted off the HMP Belmarsh for a very, very long stretch."
Cherie Blair is completely hysterical.
