Heath Ledger Murder Rumors Unfounded

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 24 January 2008


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The Dark Knight has lost an arch enemy

Heath Ledger was found dead in New York City (sometimes referred to as Gotham). Rumors that this was a murder carried out by Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson, and Mark Hamill have not been substantiated, according to local police.

Spokesman Robert Barone of the NYPD offered the following statement to the press: "Commissioner Gordon is investigating this murder, but so far has found no evidence that Mr. Romero, Joker in the 1960's Batman television series, Mr. Nicholson, the Joker in the 1980's movie, and Mr. Hamill, voice of The Joker in the recent cartoon series, were in any way involved."

"There is no reason to believe that there is any jealousy involved. Besides, Cesar Romero has been dead for over fourteen years, Jack Nicholson is too old to fart without help, and the force wouldn't let Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) kill anybody."

"We suspect either the Penguin, Catwoman, the Scarecrow, the Riddler, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, or one of the Usual Suspects."

"This was a fiendishly clever crime and we plan to let the Batman handle it."

"Of course, we have not yet decided which Batman. Adam West is doing cartoon voiceovers, Michael Keaton hasn't done anything in years, George Clooney and Val Kilmer are spending their time looking in a mirror, and Christian Bale is doing post-production work on his new movie."

"In fact, we may just turn this over to Robin."

"Remember, of course, that he could always come back from the dead. It always works that way in comic books and Hollywood sequels."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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