Dutch to ban hetro-sexuals from the military
The Royal Netherlands Army or Koninklijke Landmacht (LandLubbers) are in crisis. Recent involvement in conflicts in Iraq and Afganistan mean they are fast loosing their beloved neutral identities.
Read full storyRock-n-Roll Hall of Fame bans performance enhancing drugs
CLEVELAND, OHIO -- In a self-policing move to fend off possible Congressional hearings into the use of performance enhancing drugs by top musical recording artists, the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame announced today it will purge itself of any music made b...
Read full storyGovernment Going Out of Business
In a move that startled even his most ardent admirers, President George Bush announced this week that the government is going out of business. Kaput. Finis.
Read full storySimon Cowell lookalike used as judge on American Idol
All is not what it seems on the latest series of American Idol. Yes we have a succession of wannabes putting themselves through the butt clenchingly embarrassing series of auditions. Yes we have the usual collection of sob stories of youngsters who w...
Read full storyBush shocks world: "I was not born on your planet."
In a taped conversation with Steve Kroft of 60 Minutes, President Bush revealed that he was born on another planet. The admission stunned everyone in the studio, including Kroft. What follows is a transcript of the ensuing conversation.
Read full storyWoman Trapped in Elevator with Worlds most Boring Man and Worlds most Smelly Bastard
Chicago woman, Olivia Fischer, has survived the worst nite of her life after becoming trapped in an elevator with, not one, but two world record holders.
Read full storyNY's naked cowboy gets the blues
Times Square, New York - (Starkers Mess): New York's Naked Cowboy is suing a parody of himself created by men from Mars Inc.
Read full storySen. Arlen Specter to Investigate Alleged Cheating by Fantasy Football League Owner
Washington D.C. -- Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) announced today that he will hold hearings to investigate alleged cheating by an owner in the Greater Mid-West Fantasy Football League.
Read full storyBush Retraces Roots to Kunta Kinte, Embarks on Africa Mission
Dar es Salaam, Tanzania (Reuterus) - Speaking through an interpreter this morning, US President "Curious George" W. Bush talked about a profound sense of 'rightfullness' upon returning to his ancestral African home.
Read full storyTheSpoof.com is as bad as Derek Conway
When approached by an impartial observer, the chief editor of TheSpoof.com, Mark Lowton, was asked to account for the claimed 4,250 budding writers he has in his books. Suspicions were aroused when one writer and well known plagiarist and lover of ba...
Read full storyWawa questions Bush
It became painfully obvious during the development of the upcoming Barbara Wawa's prime-time in-depth interview with President Bush, that the President had no idea that the controversial interrogation technique of "waterboarding", which...
Read full storyBeagle added to Chinese restaurant menus
Chinese restaurants are rushing to add Beagle to their menus after Uno captured the hearts of fans at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show this week, figuring there will be an upswing in requests for the happy, playful breed.
Read full storyFCC Set To Ban Live TV
According to a source in the FCC that wanted to remain anonymous the federal agency has decided to ban live television. This is in part to the vulgar that Jane Fonda used on NBC's Today show.
Read full storyHeather Mills is full of pills McCartney divorce court told
London - (Matrimonial Mess): "Don't be fooled by all that wholesome veggie-burger psychobabble nonsense, M'Lud," Paul McCartney's attorney told a divorce court judge today. "My client's wife is a walking dispensary of...
Read full storySharapova rival Ana Ivanovic: Federer hates Russian slags
Doha, Qatar - (Mixed Doubles Mess): Women's world number two seed Serbian Ana Ivanovic has hit back at press stories linking Russia's Maria Sharapova and Roger Federer romantically as "lurid crap" and denied the Swiss twelve times g...
Read full storySouth Korean firm: we cloned Princess Diana from fingernail clippings
London - (Farcial Mess): A South Korean genetics company told Diana's inquest today that they have successfully cloned the late Princess from some fingernail clippings supplied by Paul Burrell.
Read full storyEndangered gorrilas go ape-shit as Bush flies in to Rwanda
Kigali - (Bestiality Mess): Thousands of endangered, rare-species gorillas have mutinied in their reservations ahead of George W Bush's flying visit this weekend prompted by presidential baby ape-cuddling photo-op fears.
Read full storyNew mosquito device "will infect teenagers with malaria"
Following the success of the Mosquito anti-teenager alarm, which works by emitting a high-pitched sound that only teenagers can hear, the company responsible has produced its new Mark III version. This works by releasing thousands of real mosquitoes...
Read full storyBush Loves Olympic Waterboarding and Backs Chinese Team in Darfur
President George Bush cited the success of the Chinese waterboarding team in Darfur to justify his support for the new sport widely regarded as torture.
Read full storyAl-Fayed; "Lee Harvey Oswald killed Diana and Dodi"
The exhaustive and costly enquiry into the tragic deaths of Diana Princess of Wales and her rich Arab playboy boyfriend Dodi Al-Fayed took on a new twist this week. Rich Arab Mohammed Al-Fayed, who owns Harrods, claims to have confidential leaked doc...
Read full storyThe Spoof! To Ban Certain Types Of Story
TheSpoof.com, the satirical news website, has announced a plan to ban certain types of story from its pages after complaints that some material submitted is "a little too near the edge".
Read full storyPoor Dick's Almanac, Cuntinues again!
Many estates are spent in the getting, Since women for tea forsook spinning and knitting,...
Read full storyFilm Iconoclast Greenway to "Cineramanimate" World's Greatest Paintings
Peter Greenway has created controversy each time he has aimed his camera. In his latest iconoclastic point and shoot the British film artist has found a way to cinematically animate the still paintings of the masters. he will start with Da Vinci'...
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