The Royal Netherlands Army or Koninklijke Landmacht (LandLubbers) are in crisis. Recent involvement in conflicts in Iraq and Afganistan mean they are fast loosing their beloved neutral identities.
Iraq's and Afgan's terrorist sects alike describe them as being over zealous and particularly mean during combat. The Dutch State Department aren't happy, it could be said that they are un-happy. In the Netherlands un-happiness is partially extinct because of the liberal views on drugs, murder, sodomy, and various other heinous crimes. The solution? Simple, ban hetro-sexuals from the military.
The Dutch Prime Minister is outraged by the aggressive reputation his troops are developing. He said "This new view of the Dutch armed forces needs serious addressing. Our forefathers didn't roll over and let the Germans occupy us with little or no resistance for nothing. It is our duty today to uphold the motto our fathers rolled over for 'Zonder Vrees en, Zonder Blaam' (Surrender Early, Surrender Often)".
Dutch Scientists have collected evidence that homo-sexuals surrender 300% faster than they're hetro-sexual counterparts, making them an ideal fit for today's modern army. They also don't suffer as badly with home sickness for some reason. The only negative that the study concluded was that amount of petroleum jelly used to mobilise an army increased exponentially with its homo-sexual ratio.
