Heather Mills is full of pills McCartney divorce court told

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 15 February 2008

image for Heather Mills is full of pills McCartney divorce court told
Mind-bending stuff: Heather Mills today

London - (Matrimonial Mess): "Don't be fooled by all that wholesome veggie-burger psychobabble nonsense, M'Lud," Paul McCartney's attorney told a divorce court judge today. "My client's wife is a walking dispensary of useless remedies which she uses to sedate her victims into total submission."

On the fourth day of the divorce hearing Mills was cross-examined by McCartney's QC about allegations she is hooked on Colombian organic, free-range freetrade laxatives, ayurvedic herbal detox potions and prescription anti-psychotics after being diagnosed with a karmic persecution complex by healers at London's College of Psychic Studies.

The row broke out after Mills told the judge her husband was a weed-toking junkie who drugged her into a disastrous prenup leaving her with diddly-squat in the joint bank accounts.

McCartney's barristers hit back rapidly, forcing Mills into admitting that she regularly bombarded him with sleep hypnosis tapes whose subliminals - played to the court on a portable hifi - urged her husband to sign over all his assets to their daughter Bea and appoint Mills herself as chief executive of the beneficial trust.

The hearing continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more